dalg is writing his year in review. so i think i will write my year in review too!
what i did this year. i got to go to a school on the other side of the island, joined a sport, was in a musical, went to ubin to feed the mosquitoes and canoe in a zig-zag fashion, watched a doctor do his doctor thang, didn't study much, watched a couple of musicals, realised that not studying was bad, went to the airport to study and had fun (fun while studying! whoa!) with my class, ate at a couple of posh hotels, and got fat! and also met lots of great people. sounds like a pretty fruitful year to me. happy new year everybody!
so anyway i went to see 2 weeks notice today. carrying a girl to someone's trailer toilet in the middle of the highway to take a bomb is such a romantic thing to do, isn't it? well hopefully it is in britain. sandra bullock keeps making herself look stupid in all her movies. you gotta love her.
and i had a dream just now that i was leisl from the sound of music, was on my way home on the new york subway, and started going on a killing spree with an elvish bow and arrow shooting out people from the gangs of new york. i have to stop watching movies.
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i just finished watching alegria on tv and my goodness! there was a girl on it who could sit on her own head! how many people do you know who can sit on their own heads? and she could stand on her own shoulders too! it was like they poured a bunch of water into a leotard and let it slide around onstage! at one point you really couldn't tell which were her arms and which were her legs. when i was a kid i wanted to be one of those trapeeze dudes and fly around all day. but then all i managed to do was climb up the poles of those chin up bars. yay. whoopee. the audience goes wild.
today i had a hard time deciding on half-price calendars. there was this nice one where they had a picture from a children's book for each month of the year, and on halloween they had a bunch of kids trick or treating and in december they had mr. grinch. but in the end i guess i'm going to be spending the year with signs of the times, a nostalgic collection from the mummert sign company! whatever that is. march is frosty milkshake sign month. they're delicious! i can't wait for march. and in december they have a three cent candy cane sign! i guess it's time to admit that i have no life.
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i'm halfway through writing my job shadowing report and i feel really really constipated. its all very nice writing about it here, but in the report you have to say that she had 'adenomyosis' instead of just 'a bunch of blood clots screwing up her uterus'. and you have to say 'a blood cyst' instead of 'that gross thing'. stuff like that just doesn't pop out of you at 12.30 in the morning.
its very cool that jianbang is the shiny new ogl of one of my favourite juniors, rachel chang! i hope they don't kill each other. if rachel is here, have you called jianbang yet? if you can't recognise him on the first day of school, he's the friendly looking guy with the pokey head. sorry, bang! -big grin-
i finally discovered the cause of my latest breakout. the heater was leaking so yesterday the repairman came and kicked its heater ass. and when he dismembered all the pipes and stuff, a whole stream of brown water just came running out of there! so let this be a lesson to you, kids. bathing in rusty sludge gives you zits. i guess i should be thankful that it was just pimples and not an extra nose or ear or something.
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am experimenting with my brand new HP deskjet photo paper now! at first my printer needed a bit of nudging and warm fuzzy encouragement but i finally got it to print me some pictures of a certain long blond haired elf. come to mama's wallet, baby! but the printer is using enough ink to paint the surface of africa, so i think printing out pretty pictures is going to be a pretty expensive hobby. but with the money i saved from the two free cookies, i think i'm going to get along just fine.
and zhu's suggestion about starting my own ice cream franchise sounds pretty good! ice cream all day, every day! i'd make lots of money, which i could use to buy myself bigger pants and a bigger chair.
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today i went to cut my hair after visiting my sick grandma. every time i go there it's one big party of doling out remorse and shame, but today my poor grandma was sick (God bless her), so my auntie had to stand in for her. i told her i was going to parkway parade to get my hair cut, and she was all "why must go parkway parade?" and you could practically hear her saying underneath that, "why? ah seng unisex hairdresser not good enough for you is it? unisex you know! can cut two sexes you know! huh? why must go that funny jean yeep that place huh?" so anyway after that i went to that funny jean yip place and experienced a nice head-shaking bliss while somebody washed my hair for me. and then three magazines and thirty dollars and forty cents later i come out looking.. almost the same! i hope it got rid of some of those split ends though.
and then when i came back i watched the sound of music! julie andrews is fantabulastic! and gretl! the munchkin! and now i feel like running up and down the mountain swinging a big guitar case around and jumping around on the bed with a bunch of blond children! and those little goat puppets! just kill me!
and then i got this letter from the Mrs. Fields famous brands company in Salt Lake City, Utah. and it says Dear Ms. Lam, thank you for contacting my office with your suggestion for TCBY to open a new location in Singapore blah blah blah forwarded your thoughts to the International and Franchising Departments for further consideration blah blah blah i have attached a complimentary coupon good for two free cookies at Mrs. Fields! whoohoo! and then i remembered that i sent an email to the TCBY ice cream company (yum yum) saying "why don't you have a branch in singapore? why? why??" two free cookies. pretty good for a ten word email! and you know what that means? new ice cream store soon baby! and on the coupon they said "because you are special, two free cookies". aww.
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today i finally watched lord of the rings! after queueing in line for half an hour in front of a woman with three little kids who liked to call the people in front of her "that bloody cow" and "that bloody witch", i got tickets to see lord of the rings! whoohoo!
and i would like to thank the one person who made those three hours all worthwhile. mister legolas son of yadayadawhatever! where else can you find a man with braids who makes fun of a dwarf and who vaults up a horse and who slides down a big bunch of stairs on a shield while shooting uruk-hai? we had a big bunch of loud americans who clapped and whoohooed when the show started, clapped and whoohooed when gandalf the white (colour coded wizards! how do ya like that?) came out, and clapped and whoohooed when the show ended. how do you stay drunk for three whole hours? anyway three hours. this is the only time i will be able to sit still for three hours. i had to take a quick toilet break just before the battle of helm's deep though.
then we zipped over to ghim's house to watch addicted to love in his private movie room! and then he turned on his garden fountain before we left. which made me want to pee all the way home.
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merry christmas!!! everyone should have joy on christmas day. so here's your joy! -flings some joy around-
today i went with my family to mph to spend my christmas vouchers. so then i was walking around trying to look intellectual and wondering why the rich dad, poor dad author guy was rich and i wasn't. and then in the self-help section this dirty old man comes up to me and asks me if i wanted to chat with him. why sure! i just love talking to salivating psychotic-looking strangers who look as if they've just crawled out of a gutter! call me! so anyway, another hasty escape.
anyway my cousin's staying over tonight! yippee! and bye bye.
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today is christmas eve! some doctor gave my mom and dad a ham which was one quarter pure fat, and a big hulking turkey for christmas, so we invited my auntie's family over and we ate it. turkeys are the ugliest thing in the whole world. so we should eat them. why does this sound so familiar? but anyway, have you seen an actual turkey? in thanksgiving cartoons they're all cute and have poofy feathers and wear cute little pilgrim hats and have cute little cartoon turkey smiles. in real life they look just like the cartoon turkeys, except that you have to put the cartoon turkeys through a cartoon turkey mashing machine and stick a couple of bunches of wrinkly skin on it and take away the cute little pilgrim hat.
anyway we all had a nice chrismassy talk over dinner. it was a much nicer experience than spending christmas eve at my grandma's house where everyone sits around with plates on their laps and stares lovingly into the sweet sweet eyes of the tv and chews. and gets tupperware for christmas. "man, that's just what i wanted! something to put my, ah, my uh, onions in!"
and we also got a free log cake from somebody, and it had nice little plastic trees and deer on it. but one of the deer had only three legs. poor little three legged plastic abomination of nature. i think i'll keep it and call it hoppy.
merry christmas everybody!
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today i went shopping with eleanor and gwenda and we met this overly friendly slightly gay man on the street. he spoke chinese and he was like "do you speak chinese?" and being the helpful and also very stupid person i am, i thought he was some chinaman asking for directions to the four directions hotel or something like that. turns out he wasn't. guess his zebra-print flappy shirt should have given him away. so we stopped for a split second and he whipped out a laminated newspaper cutting and started waving it around. and i am not joking when i say he was speaking very fast. his mouth was pretty much a blur. anyway while he was spitting all those long strings of chinese words all over the place, i managed to catch that he wanted to pull out a bunch of our eyebrows for ten bucks, it didn't hurt, and that if we didn't think it was nice we wouldn't have to pay him. i was actually considering saying yes when i realised that letting a very very hyperactive stranger pull out my eyebrows in the middle of a busy street wasn't the best idea i've had in my life. and then he started shaking his hips around and cooing that we were "soo cuuute!". and then all i could think of was how to get my mouth closed.
and then i asked him where he would be if we were going to come back in half an hour. then he pointed at a very dark corner and got very excited and said "there there my bag is there." and we see a backpack lying in the dark dark corner with no chairs, no stall. i was starting to suspect that the laminated newspaper clipping was headlined "psychotic oriental arrested five times for illegal pulling-out of eyebrows and then running away laughing!" so then we all pulled nice big fake smiles and made a really hasty escape.
but i guess i'm not too sane either because i just bought a pair of pink velvet pants. pink velvet pants. it feels bizzarre to say that i am now the proud owner of a pair of pink velvet pants.
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i spent the whole of yesterday with my cousin. first we cooked maple syrup candy with walnuts in it. it turned out pretty well, except that it was too hard to chew. oh well. kitchen 1, us 0. but then we baked some good brownies! so take THAT, kitchen! haHAH!
and then we went out to walk around and ate a huge dinner at nydc, which she paid for. so that was pretty much the best part of the day. i mean, how can you beat not having to walk and eating really good free food? thanks a lot, mei!
we went to the night bazaar at stadium cove and i saw a bunch of stalls selling dog clothes. at one of them there was this dog wearing a red frilly coat and a red frilly hairclip and red frilly shoes. and it kept staring and staring at a nice harley davidson leather dog jacket. reminds me of me when i was a kid.
today my auntie gave me a black leather handbag for christmas. finally i have something to hit those old grandmothers on the bus with!
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i'm seventeen today! whoohoo! and i still haven't grown any taller!
yesterday was the coolest thing. after training caroline and xinyi said they had to take a crap break, so they rushed off. so we all sat there, me sincerely thinking that they were off having a crap, when they rushed up again with a chocolate cake full of candles!!! it was one of those rare times when all i could say was "gahh! wakk! oh my god!" it was a really pretty cake with nice chocolate slices on top and that said "happy birthday amanda". nobody's ever bought me a cake before! i nearly keeled over. thanks, you guys! and they got me a nice big card with a bear on it lifting weights and a little mouse lifting weights and a schedule that says Mon : keep fit. Tues: weight training. Wed : karate. Thur : keep fit. Fri : weight training. Sat : JUDO. Sun : keep fit. how cool is that? and they also got me the sweetest little LILO! it's smiling, it has cute little Lilo hands, and it hula dances when you put it in your car! i took the long bus route home just to see it dance around a lot on the bus seats. the judo girls kick ass!
and thanks everybody for all your birthday wishes.. it's a beeyootiful morning! merry christmas to you guys and a happy new year!
and then i went out for dinner with xingning and her brother and jianyang. cafe cartel is the perfect place to eat if you love waiting until your stomach eats itself while waiting for the food, and if you want to finish dinner half an hour before all the shops close. but they have tasty carbonara!
now i'm going to my cousin's house to do a little cooking.. hopefully we make brownies so i can make a big fat birthday brownie for my mom tomorrow!
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my dad just gave me the most warped little bear ever. you take a look at him and he's a normal little cutesy bear, normal little cutesy face, gasp! he's even got a normal little cutesy bib!
and then you check him out and he's got something really hard stuck up his butt. and i'm pretty sure teddy bears don't get piles. and then you suddenly start thinking, hey, i'm going to pull his tail. for no reason, just feel like giving his tail a pull. and then you pull it, and out comes a measuring tape! a whole metre and a half of it! so naturally i spent half my day sitting around with the bear and pulling its tail and going "that sure is a nasty tapeworm you've got there. i think i've almost got it.. almost... almost... dang!"
a whole lot of the week was spent trying to learn tap dancing off the internet. all i have to show for it are feet with the skin peeling off the bottoms. maybe i should try putting on shoes.
anyway i've managed to get lactose intolerant jian yang addicted to these chocolate peanut butter cups and now he wants me to "lend" him a few packets. i'd better give jian yang's toilet paper supplier a heads up.
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today was training day. the whole morning i just sat around waiting for training to start. but i'm not feeling guilty. oh no, i was thinking about being productive the whole time i was lying on my bed checking out the ceiling, so there. what i AM feeling guilty about is eating two chocopies for breakfast. a wholesome marshmallow filling inside soft biscuit coated by a healthy layer of chocolate.
anyway today caroline got me with a very elaborate foot twisty thing. it felt like one of those martial arts movies where the heroine flies around in mid-air and tangles her legs in somebody else's legs and the other person falls down and becomes dead. it was really cool.
but on the way home we got stuck on a train that moved about an inch per minute due to a "track fault". a track fault! why doesn't anything wildly exciting ever stop our trains? derailed carriage full of inconsiderate people who poke you with their umbrellas getting in the train crashes, train accidentally knocks down a terrorist, that kind of thing. instead i get "track fault" in four languages.
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i just had to walk half an hour to pick up my photos and it was all worth it! every pile of dogcrap that i had to jump over, every car that nearly ran me down, every drain grill that i nearly tripped over (i'm not a big one for grace and agility.) was so worth it! and do you know why? look downward.
do you see? -dramatic pause- do you... see?
oh all right and also i was happy to get back photos of my friends doing all kinds of weird things in my house.. check out the girls!
and check out everybody! and check out kianleong's really dirty shirt that's hanging off that chair in the front which tziyang used as a bath towel in the middle of the night because of dickson's night blindness!
and check out me and pia morley!
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everyone just went home and i could finally take a bath! whoohoo!
anyway it was very fun. we learnt all about bulldozing and we learnt that there is a liquor in taiwan that has 54% liquor in it. and we ate. and we ate and we ate and we ate. my mom and my grandma cooked enough to feed the whole of africa and we almost ate it all!
and i got presents! jianyang gave me chocolate, a mad magazine, and a bottle of blue hair spray. mondo cool! so naturally lots of people at the party had blue hair. jianbang gave me a nice little glass potpourri bottle for christmas! the smell comes out from a convenient little hole on top! very aesthetic. and everybody gave me this really really cool little guy called "chops". chops is a tough little rubber dude who can bend any way you want him to and he doesn't give you lip. he'd be a real hit with the ladies if he was a real guy. and he does kung fu too! thanks a lot everybody! i totally love him! and i totally love you! here is a picture of chops doing his kung fu thing on my bookshelf.
and i gave everybody their christmas presents! i got a sewing machine so i could make everyone a bunch of Amanimals. what are amanimals? well its a highly plagarised version of shawnimals, and my name is amanda, so. here is a picture of the amanimal family!
you are a lucky duck if you have got one of these. here is what is on the tags on the amanimals.
Amanimals™
All-seeing Pillow
He sees all. Knows all.
He has buttons for eyes! Don’t call him a cushion. He’ll kick your ass. He’s also made of pimp-style yellow velour!
Red Hot Chilli Pepper
Don’t be fooled by the bored expression on his face. He’s a spicy little dude just waiting to burn you up with love! Hug for some red hot lovin’!
Longnecked Joe
He’s a positive little fella who
loves you so much that he’ll
let you throttle him anytime just
for the heck of it! Hopes to one day dominate the world giraffe awards.
One-legged Sam
Sam has only one leg.
But don’t expect him to be sore
about it. After all, he does have two ears and a million dollars from the leg Insurance company.
Curious Rex
Rex is really curious. You might have guessed it from the questioning sparkle in his eyes. That and the fact that he has a really big head.
Purple Fingernail
At first he was just a mild mannered, normal coloured nail. But someone took him to Esprit and now he’s really happy because he thinks purple is SO his colour.
Happy Hugadelic
At first glance he just looks like a blue star-shaped thing with eyes and a mouth. But he’s really a lean, mean hugging machine! Proper care and usage : hug once or more daily.
Shy Chicken Puppet
You wouldn’t exactly expect a chicken puppet to be fearless and stuff, right? Take the first step and make friends with him before he gets too lonely!
Sir Chompalot
With a kisser like that, how do you expect him to NOT be hungry? He eats cotton, carpet lint, and most of the fuzz from the bottom of your pocket. Also doubles up as a handy neckrest.
Blissful Tentacle
He escaped from the shoulder of a squid five years ago and swallowed some radioactive stuff in the south china sea. Now he glows bright blue and has two handy little arms! He’s still waiting for fingers.
Low-nosed Mike
Mike has a very low nose, but he never lets it get him down. All the better to suck spaghetti and meatballs off the floor, he says!
Show your love for Mike by spilling your spaghetti.
Content firecracker
This is one happy firecracker. He’s just let off a lot of pressure and he finally feels at peace. Plus, he really likes his hair. Love him as much as you want, but be careful! He has a short fuse.
(note to shawn from shawnimals : i did the tentacle before you did the tentacle, so there! nyah nyah nyah!)
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today is a happy happy day. why? #1, my table has less stuff on it so i actually can see the tabletop now. yay me! #2, shawn the lucky eejit sms-ed live from vegas! and he is going to mash me some pennies out of the penny mashing machine! #3, everyone is coming over later to watch a bunch of movies and stay awake all night!
anyway i just peeled some prawns and now my hands smell kaphooeyeeshkablechhy awful!
and also i just found a woman online who crochets food! here is some crocheted sushi!
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oh and i just went to www.humanforsale.com and i am worth exactly $2,036,298.00. if i sell myself now i could get a house with a swimming pool, a couple of tap lessons, tap shoes, a kawasaki ninja 600 motorbike, and a ticket to anywhere on SIA raffles class so that i can eat those little chocolates they give out while i fly across a couple continents.
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this is the funniest thing ever. i went to watsons today and i saw the most useless and amusing thing on the planet. it's a kung fu fighting hamster! it has a little hamster nunchuck that it waves around while doing karatechops to the tune of "kung fu fighting"! i switched on the white one and the black one when i was in the store to make them fight to the tune of a "kung fu fighting" cannon. the black one looks evil. and then i realised that i wasn't six years old anymore and i was all by myself laughing at a couple of battery-operated hamsters in the middle of a store. and the malay barber was looking at me funny. so then i had to quickly pretend i was inspecting facewash.
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i got back from judo farewell camp today. cat spent the whole barbeque having fun as a barbeque dominatrix and flipping little pieces of chicken and ordering her little boy minions to fan harder! the rest of us just stood by another grill fanning and opening our mouths to eat very hot food off skewers that the food feeders were going around and poking into people's jaws. then we went back to the gym to play card games and ping pong with photo albums as paddles. i think i do better with the photo albums than real paddles. and then we played the name game where everybody had to be a canned drink and everyone was taking names like "chrysanthemum tea" and "winter melon tea" and "ice lemon tea", and i stupidly went and chose the name "pepsi twist". huimin even more stupidly went and chose the name "grape Qoo." so the whole night it was just "grape Qoo!" "gra Qoo!" "kuay koo!"
and we had the whole night to jump around and get all sweaty on the trampoline! a whole night of airborne, not air-borne, airborne, not air-borne goodness! caroline taught me how to do a belly bounce and ended up whacking her face on the trampoline and snapping her neck off her body. you could see the little red mesh marks across her nose! poor caroline.
and while everyone was playing heart attack, i amused myself by laughing at videoclips of emerson doing a full back somersault on the trampoline, going "yay yay yay!" and doing another one and losing his balance and getting bounced all over the place. hee hee hee. you may not be laughing right now. that's cos you had to be there. hee hee hee.
before heading off to judo camp i went for more community service at marina metro. six and a half hours of "hi, would you like to help the children from lao? thank you!" actually most of the time it was "hi, would you like to thank you!" singaporeans walk really fast! and sometimes you're all "hi, would you like to help the children from lao?" and they go "Yah!" and then walk away. and sometimes they're like "no, it's okay." NO IT'S NOT OKAY! GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THE CHILDREN FROM LAO, DAMN YOU!
i just finished decorating my christmas tree, all by myself. i had no idea putting up a christmas tree was so hazardous. i kept getting skewered by wire branches! i may have made the christmas day headlines. "festive season lurks round the corner and springs out and attacks girl, 16, found shish-kebabed off her fake department store tree!"
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i am bored. i am so bored. i am so bored that i went and created me as a lego! and i created zhu, xingning and shawn as legos! i need to do something. i need to do something besides create little lego people! help me! help me!
this is me about to whack that little lego voodoo doll with my big pointy wand.
Dr. xingning all prepped for an operation!
a very happy zhu!
shawn schumacher! that gun in his hand is to shoot out the tires of the neighbouring mercedes. or whatever.
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i found it! i found a tap class that starts next tuesday at 7pm! and its for three months and its 101 bucks for twelve lessons! and there's nobody to take it with me! xingning please ask your mom. did you know that the bloxford dictionary defines 'ask' as plead, beg, grovel! somebody, anybody! dance around like a noisy idiot with me! pick up a life skill that you will never use! i'm bored!
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| I'm Eponine! |
|---|
| Spunky, resourceful, and fearless, I don't take a lot of guff from the world, and sometimes I'm kind of freaky. Secretly, though, I just want to be loved in spite of my attitude and my goofy hat. Which Les Miserables Character Are You? |
ahaha! i HAVE that hat. how sad am i? and what the hell is guff?
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just now i got a call from miss hor who asked me if i would please get over to sengkang mall to substitute for someone at metro cip, because he didn't turn up. so i was all ok, ok, ok, but where the hell is sengkang? so she told me to call someone called andre from council who would tell me where sengkang is. so thanks andre for telling me that bus 87 goes to sengkang. and when you're doing a charity donation booth in front of arithalia and next to triumph, suddenly lots of women become really engrossed with arithalia and lots of men become very interested in bras. the area in front of us was like a vacuum. only little kids dared to walk in front of us, and even then, their mothers were all like "no! quick! get away from the evil people who take your money and use it to give children from Laos an education!" but there were nice people like this lady who casually took out fifty bucks from her wallet and shoved it into the box. and there were people like this young lady who was like "i can get the discount booklet if i donate any amount? really any amount?" and then takes out two dollars and puts it in the box and runs away with the discount booklet feeling very hoitytoity that she donated two dollars instead of one dollar. and then a little while later she comes back and tells us "can i make a suggestion ah, you all should ring a christmas bell you know." and then she runs away feeling very happy and enterprising because she made the christmas bell suggestion. and then a little while later she comes back again and asks us, "excuse me ah, where's the soft toy you were supposed to give me?" OK Lady, little stuffed duck, versus starving kids from Laos with no money and no education and no future.
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guess what? i just got a sewing machine! yaay! i'm so excited! i realise because i'm so excited about getting a sewing machine i sound very dorky and have no life whatsoever, but really, i'm excited because i uh.. ah.. hey.. um.. oh, shut up. but anyway, now with a sewing machine, i wield power... i have the power to sew my brother's pant legs together! i have the power to sew random pieces of cloth to my mother's shirts! i have the power to shorten my skirts!
yesterday was the first time i went for training in a week. i guess muscles can completely atrophy in a week. because everything hurts now! everything! my toenails are screaming for mercy! caroline and huixian and mingli and me were all running around in a constipated looking half crouch for 3 kilometres. in full view of the main road! fantastic!
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today after church i decided to spend some quality time with myself. my options were either haul my ass over to some shopping centre and start spending lots and lots of money, or haul my ass over to the esplanade and read books for free. guess what i did? anyway the cafe at the esplanade has chair that look like you could just sink into them and stay there for ever and ever and ever amen, but they are rock hard and dangerous! i plomped down on one of them and was all "ooh! my poor flattened bum!"
anyway today i read about tap dancing. it sounds hard. i so want to do it! my motto has turned into, try something that you are very very bad at for no reason. i have two left feet. it's really hard for me to find shoes. and its also really hard for me to dance without falling down or tripping myself or tripping somebody. so every year i tell myself i'm going to dance a dance class. and every year i say next year. so this year, i'm really going to take one next year! really! will someone please come dance a dance class with me? i promise i won't trip you up. all you have to do is stand on the other side of the room.
at the library they also had all the costumes from singin in the rain in nice big glass cases. they had a bunch of wigs, two of kathy seldon's costumes, all the tap shoes (capezio teletone tap shoes), a bunch of hats, and RJ simpson's big towkay suit. kathy seldon's costumes all zip up at the back. no wonder they change so fast. when we were doing bubble bubble the musical we had to hop around the backstage trying to get into pants and out of pants and into skirts and my buttons kept coming undone and i had many many minor heart attacks trying to make sure i got onstage looking decent. and that damn microphone was hooked into the skirt and my shorts and the back of my underwear, and taking off the skirt while not piaking the ten thousand dollar mike into lots of pieces gave me wrinkles! wrinkles!
and today is the last day of singin in the rain. i kept seeing performers all over the place doing some last minute shopping before they were shipped off to australia again. i saw mrs kermond at mph when i went in to look at seventeen. she looks like mrs newby.
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Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
aww. i always knew those two would get together.
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my auntie just left for america today. i'm so choked up with emotion i can't write anymore!
i was lying back there. anyway SATs was awful. it was three hours of shading tiny little ovals and wondering how ZEALOT is related to PARTISAN. what the hell is a PARTISAN? for the first 10 verbal questions i was like "this is going to be a piece of cake. it's going to be just like the psychometric test." and then after about 70 multiple choices i remembered what amazing hell the psychometric test was. three hours. of shading. and shading. and guessing. and praying. and cursing. but that was one whole nap ago, so i'm feeling much more sane now.
at the airport today i loaded up on a bunch of HONEY MUSTARD PRETZEL PIECES! they are the most delicious thing in the entire world! apart from AERO chocolates. and vinegar chips. and roast leg of lamb. and corn pudding.
tomorrow i will start work on everyone's christmas presents! and cards! and lugging out the decorations and chasing the lizards out of the christmas tree!
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tomorrow is SAT day! i hope it turns out okay. because i spent a good part of the week actively multiple-choicing. and my whole life has turned into A) word i dont know. B) another word i dont know. C) could there BE more words that i don't know? D) this is ridiculous! anyway i've given a lot of attention to the word "hedonistic" so i hope that comes out some way or another. maybe like in ten questions maybe?
anyway, on to more important things. yesterday i watched "the amazing race" when everybody just ran over to singapore and malaysia! nobody recognised malaysia's flag. what?? nobody recognised malaysia's flag? when malaysia has so much, uh, water and everything? tsk tsk. anyway, they ran over to KL for a split second to take a picture of the petronas towers, and then, oh, we've run out of time, goodbye malaysia, hello singapore! and they practically ran all over our island looking at all our clean streets and our big beeyootiful botanical garden and our big smelly zoo and all our big wealthy fountains and the "kao ku kang" housing estate to meet the famous personality "pua ku kang". and guess what? even driving on the wrong side of the road, in a foreign country with unpronounceable road names, they all drive faster than my father! and yesterday was my first time watching, and already after one episode i just want to crunch Flo up into a little ball and throw her back to malaysia! for ever! Flo, no matter how tired you are and how much you want to spend your one night in singapore living it up in a big fancy hotel and having kumquat bubble baths and curling your eyelashes and sleeping on 518-thread count satin sheets, there is no reason why curlyhaired partner guy should have his eardrums ruptured! there's a way to settle these things without busting an aneurism. the words 'peaceful' and 'negotiation' can be looked up at www.dictionary.com.
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yesterday i met xingning's brother, who is a photocopy of shawn, but photocopied slightly smaller and with braces. it was like one of those computer graphics programmes where you zoom 200% and you see shawn. then you zoom 150% and you see xingning's brother. cool.
i can't wait to develop my film. guess why? oh and handsome man (dale pengelly) is very nice, very handsome, very friendly, very handsome, very charming, very handsome. and also very hairy. no wonder they think singapore is hot. you'd think they'd shed or something. but anyway, charming, handsome and talented totally cancel out hairy. hehhehheh. and pia morley is so pretty! she's so thin you can hardly see her. and you don't know how weird it is to hear jackie love talk a million octaves lower than she does on the stage. and wayne scott kermont is just cool. he shook hands with us like we were important people! and his whole family just walked home with their arms around each other. let's hear a big "aww" boys and girls! anyway australians are just so warm and fuzzy and approachable. except probably if you're asian and you move over there and steal all their jobs. they'd probably get all their kangaroos to hop over and kick you in the arse.
today i spent a big chunk of morning watching ryan phillippe (fee-leep? fee-lee-pay? fee-lee-pee?) do a scottish accent in Gosford Park. aye. and another big chunk of morning trying to do push-ups but i think i re-sprained my ankle. maybe now that i've done the push-ups, i can walk on my hands! man, i'm resourceful. anyway the little blacksmiths have stopped bangin away inside my head on their little anvils. it's a panadol victory! whoohoo! but i am still pissing off everyone in cough range with my annoying phlegmy cough.
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Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.
[Angel.]
somehow these quizzes always have me lookin like a monkey.
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 | You are Gonzo! |
my nose is SO not that big!
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Strawberry: 10/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 40/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 20/100
Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen and Aaron!
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i guess wayne scott kermond, who plays cosmo brown in Singin' in the Rain, has enough energy to somersault off two walls, tap dance for two and a half hours, get slapped around by a headless dummy, AND answer fan mail at the same time. he just answered mine, anyway. that was really nice of him. check out his web site at www.waynescottkermond.com. He's the fourth generation performer in his family and he spent his entire childhood just dancin around with his parents and not giving a fiddler's fart about vectors and parenchyma cells and whatever. why couldn't my grandfather been a champion chinese wayanger or something?
my cousin just developed pictures of her prom. she looks so pretty! she'd better get married really soon though, because that dress was NOT cheap. the guys in her school, on the other hand, let's not say they were dressed badly. they were trying very hard to be andy lau. andy lau ten years ago. turtlenecks and sports jackets? give me a P! give me an I! Give me an M! Give me a P!
i'm sorry i'm being mean today. it's just so hard to be little miss sweetheart when you've got stuff coming out of your nose non-stop (let's have a little singalong! i've got snot like a river i've got snot like a river i've got snot like a river in my nose! [in my nose!]), and your throat tissues have completely turned into a whole bunch of sandpaper and you've got little blacksmith guys just bangin away at their anvils in the middle of your brain!!! and the worst part is i cannot sing christmas carols to annoy anybody in the shower!
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What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are the classy pin-up! You are everything sophisticated and refined about the entire era. You exude class and dignity.
wow i'm that painted girl who looks like she's on all the mooncake boxes! and i'm sophisticated! hell yeah. hold on a second, i've got to hack up this loogie. -snnnrrkkkkk- -refined little 'ptui'- that's better. anyway, sophisticated. my middle name.
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Which Harry Potter Candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
mmm chocolate.. oh no sore throat sore throat dammit dammit!
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today i went marketing at giant(tm) hypermart. and i saw a weighing scale that wished me a good day. and i saw another weighing scale that claimed "weigh once daily, good health, strong body!" so that's the secret of being slim! weigh once daily! it's a wonder nobody ever thought of that. and i also saw a can of "crammed duck". it's "sauced" too! and i read in ElleGirl magazine that Mandy Moore and Kelly Osbourne are friends! and Kelly Osbourne has a jacket that says "kellyosbournekellyosbournekellyosbournekellyosbournePISSOFF!" I learn valuable new things every day.
and i got run over by lots of strong aunties and their shopping trolleys with kids lying inside! in the end i got really brassed off, because there's only so much a girl can take of getting smacked around by kai lan and packets of chicken. a hypermarket is not a good place to go if you don't like playing trolleyjam with aggressive middle aged housewives.
my mom just tried to make cream puffs. but she made the custard too hard. so now i have to eat clumpy puffs. it could start a whole new craze, actually.
i would talk to you some more, but my throat is all sore. Ooh that rhymes.
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today i had a free opera lesson from watching arts central. lesson number one: how to howl like a wolf to bring out your innate operatic talent. that one i already knew how to do. just ask my long-suffering father. anyway, after half a minute of howling like a wolf, i was able to move one key higher! and i also learned that "summertime" is a godawful song.
did you know that the handsome guy you see below this post is just one year shy of his fortieth birthday? my goodness he's aging well! the cast of friends look like they could be his grandparents!
today at my grandmother's house, my little cousin kept playing masak masak with me. and he would be a completely crappy restaurant owner. he served me the same plate of one cookie a total of seven times! and the same clump of plastic rice four times! and he keeps serving me empty plates inside frying pans! that is no way to treat your pretend patrons!
oh and also shawn came to my church today! i decided that i couldn't survive the mrt ride all the way around the world to jianyang's church, so i called him in the morning and got a pretty shrill response from his mother, who i think screens all his calls. apparently she thinks that jianyang is going steady with the entire female population. unless you say that you are from church.
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