Monday, March 31, 2003
look at him!
they're just so schweet! they make you want to hug them and squeeze them and squish them but you can't because that would end up in them being dead.
but anyway when me and my mom went to pet safari yesterday to get some hamster supplies, i ended up falling in love with a lop-eared bunny that looked just like this
unfortunately she costs three hundred and fifty big ones. but my birthday's in december which gives all of you time to save up!
| mando | 6:45 PM
my mom and me braved the sars to go out to eat japanese food because today was the last day to use up all our vouchers. i made it through the day by not breathing every time i passed someone. we ate a bunch of raw fish and lots of sushi before realising that the red plates were "gourmet sushi" and "gourmet sushi" cost $6.50 a pop. and we had seven pops. hooray. anyway the japanese have really mastered the art of eating things that have no taste. gotta love the japanese! but after dunking it in sauce everything tasted lovely! if you are japanese please ignore me.
and i finally got a new computer microphone to sing karaoke on. i think my neighbours are buying paint and cardboard to make their picket signs now. i can already hear the resounding "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" chant outside my house. so much attention for lil' ol' me!
the hamster babies are fully fuzzed out. they're easy to pick up so i keep picking them up. hope it doesnt scar them psychologically. one of them keeps nipping my hand so i called him nipper but i dont know which one he is anymore.
| mando | 7:11 AM
Saturday, March 29, 2003
like i predicted, Oliver! was! very! nice! i was very dizzy trying to figure out where the stage ended and turned into a backdrop. and i was even more dizzy when the stage started floating upwards while fagin welcomed us to his unnnderrgroundd lairrr... i like his underground lair! it looks very cozy although there are lots of hazardous things sticking out all over the place that kids could hurt themselves on. shame on yourself, set! safety! manager!
but anyway, the actors were very nice. but oliver!, oops, i mean, oliver, was completely overshadowed by everyone else. i guess having your name in the title with explosive punctuation doesnt exactly make a fantastic character. my favourite scenes all have fagin in them who is more like a senile old man than an evil old guy who makes little kids run around stealing hankies for him. he's played by john waters
who is a cool old guy with an earring. its worth seeing the show just for him. and nancy, who is played by tamsin carroll was very nice and flouncy and has a beautiful voice. they call her the "tart with heart". what nice rhyming. and the artful dodger (jared daperis) was fantastic too! so if you go to the show, look out for 1) old guy who has lots of hankies, 2) bosomy girl in red dress, 3) little boy in mouldy top hat. and also read the libretto first because their excessive accents which make them leave out h's and put in extra h's make you not understand anything that's going on for awhile. dang! those extra h's really caught me off guard!
also pretty funny was widow corney who was played by sally-anne upton who kept screaming. which i suppose is good because her song is called "i will scream". so. she's also very nice and we had a photo with her. ghim was very excited about that! there was also a pit-bull named johnny walking around the stage and looking threatening. at one point i was a bit scared he would jump into the orchestra pit and start tearing up the cello player, but that didn't happen. but anyway it was a very nice evening and we all had fun pretending to be high-class with our pashmima shawls.
| mando | 8:02 PM
Friday, March 28, 2003
yesterday i pretty much was still one with my house. i was even more one with my computer chair. i think i finally managed to mould my butt-print on the seat into the perfect shape. and then i finally managed to alter that skirt into a top by doing nothing at all to it except wrapping it around my torso and saying a little prayer that it wouldnt fall down. it looks pretty nice actually. i'm wearing it today when we go out to watch Oliver!. i think Oliver! is going to be a good show. you know its a good show when it has a little exclamation mark at the end. its like "hey! watch me! i have million dollar sets and i've scattered some local kids in the background acting as urchins you never know the names of just to publicise ourselves better! oh, and i also have a little exclamation mark! dont mess with me!" its quite intimidating.
| mando | 9:25 AM
Thursday, March 27, 2003
let me tell you what i did today while trying not to get sick. i watched a lot of justin and kelly dancing around in their bollywood movie musical while i watched american idol clips online, then i got out the sewing machine and did stuff on it until just before the onset of carpal tunnel syndrome. then i danced around my room a bit and then i stopped dancing and started making fun of my own dancing. then i was bored for five minutes, then i spent the rest of the morning in various states of undress trying to alter one of my old skirts into a top. a big part of that morning was spent checking whether the curtains were drawn and the doors were closed. not letting the neighbours see me in the buff is a big part of my life now. then i took a bath while singing very noisily and then i spent some time after that making fun of my own singing. i think i'm starting to realise why the house next door is not selling.
then i watched american idol on tv! and i got jasper to watch it too! and i almost got yucai to watch it but he thinks its too glitzy. i'm supposed to be watching wrestling now because jasper recommended it but just seemed like a bunch of burly topless men dancing in a very violent way. and then ending the dance by breaking each others' ribs. actually i just didnt want to watch it because it reminded me of training.
anyhoo, american idol. it was country rock night. simon cowell doesnt know what country rock is. hell, i dont know what country rock is. i like simon cowell even though he only has two shirts, one black and one white, and those two shirts make him look like a chess piece every night. if i were that rich i'd go totally crazy and buy myself one blue shirt to go along with that! you have to live on the wild side when you're famous you know.
but anyway, trenyce is a scary girl. i have never seen anyone look so much in pain when they sing. i think its a combination of the starving ethiopian look and the big bunch of contorted facial expressions that she always has. the girl is thin! its like she's the poster child for anorexics anonymous! and she keeps putting on that "but i've eaten a whole leaf of lettuce already! what more do you want from me?" pout. or maybe i'm just jealous. and then when i watched julia demato, i changed my mind about not seeing anyone look as much in agony as trenyce. im just glad she's out of her misery this week. no more scary people in the audience julia! shh. its all okay now. shh. really. SHH.
i really shouldnt be writing this because of my own bad singing. if my neighbours see this i think they're probably going to come to my house armed with pitchforks and a guy named gaston.
| mando | 7:32 AM
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
there's no school until the sixth of april, which is bizzare because we're right in the middle of a bunch of tests to see how much we havent been studying. the reason for the no-schooliness is because there's some sort of plague floating around in the air and one person has already succumbed to it. its very strange to feel happy because there's no physics exam and in a state of panic because i may be breathing in lots of plague germs. you should see my face. i look like i just saw ali G win an oscar. i suppose all we can do now is pray very very hard, and not breathe so much. its funny to have a holiday where you have nothing to do that doesnt involve crowded places and breathing in other people's germs. i will just stay at home and pray very hard.
anyway on another note i just had a nosebleed and i think continuously stuffing tissues up my nose has enlarged one of my nostrils.
| mando | 3:46 AM
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
now you can look at my little babies!
if you can't make out what the black blob on top is, its a baby. and the pink blob to its right is also a baby. and the pink blobs under those two are also babies. they're just like little man babies, only fuzzier and a few million times smaller. they squirm the same and they dont smell as bad. between these little guys and catherine zeta-jones looking like her water was going to break all over the red carpet and my gp teacher walking funny and wearing suspiciously maternity clothes, there are way too many baby things going on. anyhoo, i also think its funny that my hamster likes to sleep like this.
oh yeah and today was the biology paper! it was the first time i was able to write an essay that made some sense! its a huge step for amandakind! and now i'm eating a bunch of liver that my grandmother cooked to make me smarter. yum! delicious hepatocytes! delicious canaliculi!
| mando | 3:22 AM
Monday, March 24, 2003
today was the chemistry paper and it was the first time i was actually able to do a bunch of questions without screaming for help! what good timing!
when i got home and turned on the tv, who did i see but an extraordinarily pregnant catherine zeta-jones waddling up stage in her maternity oscar gown! i think she was bigger than both queen latifiah's mammaries put together. what a sight! and it turns out that she still has her welsh accent, which made it a bit hard to understand that she was saying hi to her little son dylan at home and her very old husband sitting in the audience.
my hamsters have grown a layer of gray fuzz all over their backs and can now squirm on their backs back into the nest when their mother accidentally boots them out while she runs off to have some private time with their dad. they're all visible if you look in from the top of the cage, but i dont feel like dislocating my arm trying to plug my camera into the computer right now so i can't scan in the photos. maybe i'll feel like dislocating my arm tomorrow.
| mando | 6:40 AM
Thursday, March 20, 2003
for the past two days i have lost all physical control of my legs. every time i try to take a step or bend down they just go all over the place. this makes it hard to walk down two flights of stairs to see my hamster babies. the other day when i was walking down the steps like an old lady i almost dislocated my knee. so i have been abseiling up and down the staircase by pulling myself up using the banister. and when i went to starbucks to study and walked around to get some free water, people were looking at me like i was a spastic child. exercise is bad for you!
the hamlets are doing ok, i think. cucaracha has ungratefully pushed over the nice tea box i gave her for a nest so i cant see head or tail of the little hamlets. and i refuse to abseil down those two flights of steps unless justin guarini is downstairs or there is some sort of life threatening fire thing going on, or unless i need to use the loo really badly.
| mando | 2:43 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
i was just watching american idol auditions online again, and this girl sang a self-composed song that was very beautiful and inspiring. i think i will make it my motto. it goes "you said our hands would always stay together, baby, forever. well you can take, forever, and shove it up your ass! and you can take together out of your vocabulary, you can take, forever, and shove it up your ass". it is aptly entitled "take forever and shove it up your ass". simon cowell thinks that it is a beautiful song. i have to agree.
anyway, my hamsters have just given birth! oh yes! they are not both female like i thought they were! oh no! now i have four little muchacha and cucaracha jrs snuggled up inside a tea box with their mother lying on top of them chewing a cabbage leaf. luckily some nice friends of mine have agreed to adopt them. they look like little balls of pink skin with no eyes. they're so cute. at first the parents didnt know what to do with them and the mother kept picking them up in her mouth and running on her wheel with them. help! help! i've just had babies! let me pick one up and run away with them to the same spot that i have been running on for the past five minutes! i sure hope i dont have that mentality when i have a kid. at least now i know which one is the female. i cant wait til they grow some fuzz so that i can pick them up without their mom chewing them to mush.
| mando | 5:24 AM
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
judo camp is over! i actually thought that after coming home tonight i would have to go back tomorrow. luckily xinyi told me that i was very stupid for thinking that i should go back tomorrow! so here i am at home feeling very stupid.
anyway about the j1 girls. they're great, because they make us look good in comparison. very very good. and we want to bounce their giggly arses out the window because they do everything really slowly which ends painfully ever after with all us seniors doing lots of frog jumps. at one point i was jumping up and down and realising that i wasn't actually going anywhere. and they laugh. about everything. and they scream. about everything. do you laugh when you feel lots of pain? they didn't get to find out because we weren't allowed to fight with them. i think caroline was so angry that she would have mashed them into a twitching pulp and served it at the hostel mess hall for dinner. the sad thing is that the twitching pulp would probably have tasted better than what they normally serve.
but other than that it was quite nice. ghim saved us from malnutrition from bringing lots of bags of food! yay ghim!
my fingers are tired so i will stop now.
| mando | 3:49 AM
Sunday, March 16, 2003
lots of things have been popping up lately and nothing seems to be all good anymore. normally things go very happily for me because i try to see them that way. but its getting harder and harder to find my pair of rose coloured glasses nowadays. i dont know if this is a good thing or not, because i may finally be mellowing down, but apparently mellowing down means you're not happy all the time. but then for the past year i've always tried to ask myself if what i'm doing is making me a happier person, like what edward norton the nazi says in the nazi movie american history X. and not the kind of happy you get when you try to make yourself very very big by making others feel very very small, like i used to do a lot. i'm pretty ashamed of all that, and i'm trying hard to change. but apparently not hard enough, because there are some people i dont exactly want to shower with smoochies, and its always been hard for me to hide that. and occasionally there are explosions of the old me that i cant control, and although there's a bitchyhigh during the big explosion, after that i usually slap myself around a lot.
so i've been trying hard to be nice. and over the past year, i realised that it made me a happier person, and made the people around me pretty happy too. but then everything cant be all good, and sometimes people reject you and dont take very kindly to what you do. like old ladies trying to beat you up with their handbags when you offer them seats, among other things. and there's sometimes when you feel like doing very violent things. and then there's other times when you start to question yourself and try to put yourself in their shoes to understand why they spat on you. sometimes you understand. (old ladies are all pissed off because of their hot flushes) and sometimes you really dont. and you start wondering if you should stop wasting your time on them and stop annoying them and leave them alone and everyone will be happier that way. this by the way is progress from the old me, when i would just cut out all the wondering and go straight to the violence.
i realise this must be difficult to take seriously with a picture of a pink bunny pointing happily to his arse right below it. you could or you couldnt, really. whatever makes you happier.
| mando | 3:54 AM
Saturday, March 15, 2003
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla
doncha just love pictures of bunnies pointing to their bums?
| mando | 8:54 PM
ever since i came to jc, my iq has been halved. its so hard to remember anything! for organic chemistry, i started off making a summary of organic chemistry. then i decided that it was too much, so i made a summary of the summary of organic chemistry. then now i feel that there are too many summaries, so i'm thinking of making a summary of all the summaries. maybe i should just drop out and go into the stuffed animal business. but judging by the mug shots of super sock monkey that i made for jianbang for his birthday, maybe i shouldnt.
if you think that there is a market for amateur stuffed toys and painfully crafted sock monkeys, please drop me a message.
| mando | 8:44 PM
You are the fox.
Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz. brought to you by Quizilla
i cant remember whether there was a fox since my cousin lost my copy of the little prince in her room.
| mando | 5:19 AM
Friday, March 14, 2003
i was watching american idol and one of the contestants has his very own day! its called ruben studdard's day and nobody needs to go to school! if they gave everyone who was on american idol or survivor or amazing race a day, nobody would need to go to school, ever! what a phat idea! (phat is my new cool word, along with "dawg" and "a'aight".) i support reality tv! i also support anyone who wants to petition for an amanda lam's day!
on sunday im going to go to the adidas sale. i will bring along something sharp and poky to poke any aunties who try to steal cheap sports bras from me. and i will run a few kilometers before that and not change and i will have a two meter radius around me which will make picking up cheap goods very easy. all of you had better not go and try and fight over cheap things with me and my poky stick.
today a little boy called robin came over to ask for donations and he ended up looking at my hamsters for quite a long time. maybe if i get a bigger pet, i'll be able to attract bigger men.
| mando | 6:38 AM
Thursday, March 13, 2003
i am highly amused by the adventures of maritess
, highly recommended by jiayan! poor maritess this pilipina maid, always suffering always paining because of her employers always hanky panky with her! she has no preedom! not eben pree to cook pish! so poor thing, maritess. lucky, i am not pilipina maid, always must obey master and cannot go out to lucky plaza always.
| mando | 3:45 AM
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
somehow my computer is behaving its bad little self today and so here i am! today was the gp paper and i wrote all about space exploration and how we should have space exploration although it costs lots of money and although sadly, people get blown up in space. its a good thing i read all about space exploration last night. last year i wrote about sports, and the night before i read about sports! i think me and gp have some good karma. and the comprehension has brainwashed me into not liking america anymore. i feel like walking around and spitting at mcdonalds outlets.
my hamsters are being nice today too! one of them actually crawled onto my hand to eat a bunch of carrots. its a shame he nibbled my hand a whole lot before he got to the carrots.
| mando | 5:45 AM
Monday, March 10, 2003
my computer is a very bad computer. a very very bad computer. which is why i am sitting in the computer lab again after having internet withdrawal seizures for one week. however i have managed to fill up the spare time that i usually spend looking at funny things like happy tree friends
by doing a whole bunch of weights. i think by july i may need to get clothes with bigger sleeves.
catherine zeta-jones has won a screen actor's guild award for best supporting actress! whoo! i think what won the judges over was the smirk. i am now rewatching the show to count the number of times she smirks in the whole show. and how many times they say the word "garter". anyway she is not fat. if anyone says she's fat, now, with my new muscles, can put your lights out! anyway my mom says that she likes catherine zeta-jones' "aura", and i should try to change my "aura". what's wrong with my aura? i hope i dont wake up one morning with short hair and a fringe and married to some old guy. but i wouldnt mind a few screen actor's guild awards and a whole bunch of money.
says that teenage mutant ninja turtles are coming back in. i used to have a crush on michaelangelo. i even made my own little pair of nunchucks out of toilet rolls. but now that i think about it green muscles arent really what i look for in a man anymore.
| mando | 8:04 PM
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
i am in the computer lab where the air con is not trying hard enough to work because my internet explorer doesnt seem to like me. every time i want to research something important or write here or go look at jenny.blogspot.com
, or look at some guy jumping around and dancing on zefrank.com
, the internet explorer decides to not work and its a whole big ctrl-atl-del festival for me! am trying to hammer my computer into submission, after failing at more gentle techniques.
| mando | 10:08 PM