Sunday, November 30, 2003
i am throwing away an awful lot of stuff. there are bags and bags of interesting stuff sitting next to the garbage can that i'm being forced to throw away or they may swallow me alive while i'm sleeping. i think i've effectively thrown away enough stuff for an entire african tribe to build a little village with.

my efforts at learning italian are not going well. so far i've only learned two phrases, which are "you're breaking my balls" and "i think i'm pregnant", none of which really make for friendly conversation. and i think i don't have enough saliva to string together an entire french sentence. so i'll probably have to brush up on my sign language if i don't want to be beaten to death by an angry mob overseas.


| mando | 11:24 PM

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Saturday, November 29, 2003
i spent five hours cleaning my one tenth of my room. after sweating so much that i virtually was able to remove my shirt and use it to mop up all the dust, i now have one clean bookshelf and a very dusty floor. apart from one lousy bookshelf, my cleaning efforts have birthed nothing but an enormous litter of dust bunnies who like to run up my nose.


| mando | 9:19 AM

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Friday, November 28, 2003
i just found out what the medicine interview is like! i presume that for the veterinarian school interview, they place you in a room surrounded by five pit bulls and retrieve you a few hours later to find out if the pheromones you emit make animals like you or if they make animals rip you into itty bitty little pieces.


| mando | 8:06 AM

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Thursday, November 27, 2003
no more!!! no more sitting at the airport until my ass goes flat! no more trying to simultaneously study and swear at the people drilling next door! also no more black hair because the first thing me and xingning went to do on our last day in our uniform was hilight/perm our hair and walk around in our uniforms disgracing the good name of our school!

anyway thank goodness for my mom who prevented a whole lotta occasions on which i nearly started ramming my head into the walls! and my dad who kept popping into my room at random intervals and bouncing around going "whoo! last leg! whoo! c'mon! c'mon! you can do it!" its great having your own private 48 year old cheerleader.

anyhoo me and xingning were talking about this giant colon in america. apparently they have a giant walk through colon. and it goes on tour, teaching little kids and adults alike about the joys of the final stages of digestion. i suppose it would be better that it was a touring colon. otherwise some poor town would have a entering town sign that went "Welcome to snuckyville! Home of the giant colon!"


| mando | 4:36 PM

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Sunday, November 23, 2003
watching les miserables is a good way to spend your time if you're feeling crappy. because you know, everyone in there is all miserable and everything. that is, until you realise that they're a bunch of famous people who get paid to do the best job in the entire world. its so ironic that people pay you big money to act poor cold and hungry.


| mando | 5:11 PM

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Friday, November 21, 2003
why?? why did i complain about the physics paper one luring me into a false sense of security? when i was doing paper two i was all help! give me the false sense of security back! give it back!! since i had such a crappyass day i decided to put on a deep pore cleansing mask for the sheer amusement of walking past a mirror and seeing my face covered in blue crap. and maybe letting my hair down and wearing a white dress and tapping my brother quietly on the shoulder. anyway its such a bummer that i look better with the mask on than off. i guess i should go and tap my brother on the shoulder before the mask totally dries out.


| mando | 3:45 AM

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Thursday, November 20, 2003
the mcdonalds near my place put up this big sticky board so people could write things on little hearts followed by the words "i'm lovin' it" and stick their little hearts up on the sticky board. i think a lot of kids go there with their parents because you can see a heart that says "I love pokemon" pretty big and then squashed in at the bottom it says "i love mommy i love daddy". the parents must be all "you cannot only love pikachu! you love mommy! write there you love mommy! daddy also! don't draw the pokeball so big! draw mommy stick figures!" poor kids.


| mando | 5:00 AM

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Thursday, November 13, 2003
my new neighbours are drilling. it is loud. i think even my deaf grandmother is annoyed. guess who else is annoyed? the person who has to take 6 exams next week, that's who! well in a few months they are really going to regret moving in next to a very loud bathroom singer. i think it's time to brush up on my britney spears impressions!


| mando | 5:06 PM

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today on my way home i saw this old folks home and there was a banner outside that said jumble sale held in aid of old folks! yes because the whole world is dying to buy up stuff that old folks don't want. what in the hell is anyone going to do with a used commode?


| mando | 9:15 AM

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Thursday, November 06, 2003
previously on this website : i astounded you all with my impressive geographical knowledge! i was about to ask the same thing about mumbai the other day when my mom told me its just the new funky name for bombay. why must these indians keep changing their city names? it makes me look stupid!

yesterday i saw three kids playing the stationary game of life. one little girl was like "ok i'm going to work now! you are staying at home! ok i'm back from work! how was your day?" then they decided to start actually acting out the game of life and then the working girl walked away from the table but the non working girl wanted to follow her and the working girl had to keep screaming "no! you stay at home! stay at home! stay!" hee. and don't you love how little kids open their mouths all the way before drinking from a straw?


| mando | 8:04 AM

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Tuesday, November 04, 2003
its university acceptance letter time! and i haven't gotten any! oh ucas acceptance letter.. heeeere ucas acceptance letter.. please feel free to show up any time while i'm out studying until my brains dribble out of my ears!

does anyone know if kolkata is just the new funky name for calcutta or is it a whole new place?


| mando | 4:45 PM

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