Sunday, February 29, 2004
friday was my last day at work and it was the funnest day! i got to give everyone my dancing william hung dolls and people kept giving me stuff and shaking my hand! i shook hands with my big boss! i've never even shaken hands with the principal! i'm pretty sad to leave. everyone is so nice. despite what they say about office politics i haven't discovered a single knife stuck in my back! yay! the cockroaches haven't bothered me since debra left. i think she may have taken them with her. i will miss the lunchtime gang and the prata and the curry whose major ingredient may be pot because everyone becomes kind of cuckoo after eating it. i will miss indra who goes "hee hee hee" at everything. and i will miss the photostating machine who always bluffs me that there are pieces of paper stuck inside him and makes me open him up and dislocate half my limbs trying to find the paper. these two months have been a blast. but i have to move on. there is a fire drill next week and i'm sure as hell not going to stick around to climb down ten flights of stairs in heels!



the lunchtime gang!



the mighty army of shebangsaboora!



| mando | 4:01 AM

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Monday, February 23, 2004
today i went to watch rost in tlansration. it was arlight, but i think the engrish scliptlighters had a vely easy time, because most of the diarogue went rike this : "ahsodeskaahsodeskaahsodeskaSOdesnehhh!" i arso lealised that if you rive in japan too rong you may go brind from the blight rights. i imagine warking down a tokyo stleet is rike staling into the photocopiel when it is photocopying something.


| mando | 7:23 AM

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Sunday, February 22, 2004
i think i have fish phobia. i am eating a perfectly nice fish for dinner and i am ruining it by mashing it into a paste with my teeth to make sure there are no bones, and when i swallow it i have to clutch at my throat and pull it out a mile before the fish goes down. it doesn't work, but it makes me feel safer. if they kill all the chickens in the world and i have to eat fish every day my gullet will be hanging down to my toes within the year.


| mando | 3:47 AM

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Saturday, February 21, 2004
today i went to mph to help my colleague buy a book. so i went to information and said "hi, can i please have the book why men lie and women cry please?" i could see the information girl looking me up and down and imagining me as a gold-digging teenage tramp who just found out that her cradle-robbing philandering forty-eight year old boyfriend was having an affair with another gold-digging teenage tramp. i'm just glad i didn't have to ask for a book about knitting diapers or maternity fashion.


| mando | 10:49 PM

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Friday, February 20, 2004
today at work we were changing the big bottle of water that feeds into the water cooler and found a poor little long-legged bug who had met his untimely demise drowning in mineral water. i guess the refreshing taste wasn't from the sparkling spring water in the alps after all!


| mando | 4:38 AM

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Tuesday, February 17, 2004
over one and a half months of work i have become really impatient with people who have long names. for example, mr abuganeshandramchelvam s/o balakalemasandram makes for a whole lot of tedious cancellations. which of course are a huge bunch of fun for me! so if you happen to be mr abuganeshandramchelvam s/o balakalemasandram, could you kindly sign up for a phone or modem as mr abu s/o bala? and for all of you tan ah koks reading this, i really appreciate you.


| mando | 7:47 AM

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Saturday, February 14, 2004
valentines day is a dangerous dangerous day. because men insist on giving girls very sharp and dangerous flowers. maybe to bash other men who think their girls are hot too. but yesterday i think i was assaulted by half the flower bouquets in singapore. roses and taffetta are a very lethal combination! i am just very grateful that nobody was diabolic enough to buy their girlfriends a bouquet of bird of paradises wreathed in bamboo spears.


| mando | 6:26 PM

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Monday, February 09, 2004
today at my office, a quiet announcement was made and a lady with a soft, calm voice slowly said "may i have your attention please. the fire alarm in the building has been activated. we are investigating the cause of the alarm. please do not panic. thank you." click. my first instinct was to go "AHHHHHHHHH!!! GOT FIRE!!! GOT FIIIIYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FASTER RUN!!!!!" but i looked around me and all around were colleagues filing calmly. then i thought, oh, indeed it makes the sense to put the important documents in alphabetical order before jumping out the window and leaving them to burn. so everyone and me kept typing and sorting while they investigated whether there really was a fire in the building that could have fried us all into a bunch of crispy crunchy chicken wings. while they were doing their investigating thang, i sorted and typed a stack of important documents, took a quick toilet break, and had a leisurely conversation with debra my coworker whether if there really was a fire, would you rather roast alive like a suckling pig, or would you hop off the building? as we were coming to the conclusion that we would both rather jump down after throwing down heaps of important documents to cushion our fall, they made another announcement that there wasn't really a fire. i feel safe and secure in my little office on the tenth floor! maybe i should hop over to the prudential office on the eighth floor and buy me some insurance quick!


| mando | 4:20 AM

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Wednesday, February 04, 2004
today i went for my driving test and realised that kampong ubi is the biggest wasteland south of malaysia! you walk for miles to find a main road, where if you happen to see two cars end to end that do not have "L" plates on them, you are sure to strike 4D an hour later! forget about tekong the government should just ship all their recruits to kampong ubi for military training! and its really pleasantly ironic that if you actually need to go to the driving centre, it means you aren't able to drive on the main road and thus get your ass home. if by pleasantly you mean the parachuting down from the top of the UOB building without a parachute kind of pleasant. and the best part is there is a high chance that i flunked the test and have to go back there again!


| mando | 4:38 AM

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Sunday, February 01, 2004
yesterday we had a class outing and i saw angela who i haven't seen since donkey years or since saddam hussein was clean shaven! anyway we had a nice chit chat and she gave us a purse from vietnam and a cool keychain with the official mascot of the sea games, which she is a silver medallist of! anyway the mascot of the sea games appears to be a half naked cow playing basketball. truly inspirational is this half naked cow. thanks angela!

anyway today is a holiday and so i must study for my basic theory test. at the rate at which i'm going i'll probably tick the option that says d) left turn ahead while knocking down an old lady with a walker only.


| mando | 6:03 PM

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