Saturday, November 30, 2002

see what i mean? all-singing. all-dancing. all-very-very-handsome and all-not-entertaining-autographs-or-pictures. well at least now i know i'm not dead and in heaven.

today i went for another one of those free lunch talk things. we had a nice buffet before learning all about hepatitis C. and during the talk an old man in the back row belched about twenty times. "hepatitis C can affect-" "baaaaarrrp!" "anybody in a high-risk-" "buuuuuuurrrp!". it was like punctuation!

and i am really getting sick of peeling off my million and oneth layer of skin! it was fun at first, but now it's just coming off in little flakes. i have thigh dandruff. fantastic. and it's the christmas season too, so i can make my very own snow just by rubbing my arm!

to distract myself from my skin disease problems, i'm going to sing "you are my lucky star!"

You are my lucky star.
I saw you from afar.
Two lovely eyes, at me
They were gleamin', beamin'.
I was star-struck.
You're all my lucky charms.
I'm lucky in your arms.
You've opened heaven's portal
Here on Earth for this poor mortal.
You are my lucky star.

thank you. thank you very much. donations are very much welcome.

| mando | 5:07 AM


Friday, November 29, 2002
i'm singin in the rain!

ok, number one, songs are so happy. number two, dancing is fantastic. number three, leading lady is so pretty and her voice is so pretty, number four to a thousand, the leading man, playing Don Lockwood, is amazingly fantastically horrendously hot!!! you wanna know what he looks like? ok, suppose you have an all-singing rupert everett on one hand. and you have and all-dancing jude law on the other hand. now put your hands together.

and then Don Lockwood looked me right in the eye during one of his numbers! and he smiled! so if anyone ever wants to know what it feels like to have your heart stop beating and start panting and making "ar-OOOO-gah!" noises, please feel free to approach me. any time.

i'm going to be jumping on all the lampposts in town. and running outside when it starts raining. singapore general hospital's broken limbs department had better prepare for a long period of business from me. and my dad is going to be complaining about ceiling tiles falling down when i start tapdancing in my room. and he thought he'd seen the worst with the bathroom singing.
so anyway. moses supposes his toeses are roses, but moses supposes erroneously! but moses, he knowses his toeses are roses, as moses supposes his toeses to be!

| mando | 7:56 AM


Thursday, November 28, 2002
today everybody went to eat at outback:the steak restaurant. there's nowhere else in singapore where you can eat barbie pork ribs, get disgustingly overcharged for good food, AND hold a staring competition with a fuzzy stuffed kangaroo at the same time! tomorrow we're going to eat suckling pig! i'm beginning to see a link between my auntie's annual coming to singapore and a sudden drastic weight gain.

and then my auntie dropped by the DFS store at millenia walk. it's like walking into one of those disneyland rides because a whiff of weird smelling air hits you in the face and all of a sudden you're three years old and back on the pirates of the carribean ride again.

there is an amazingly huge ulcer on my bottom lip. here, i'll show you. hee? here ik is. ik's harg ko kalk wih gis ulher.

| mando | 5:35 AM


Wednesday, November 27, 2002
yesterday i tried to elevate my ankle on my cousin's hello kitty and i think now hello kitty has a bad case of BO.

today my cousin, tua ee and me went to chinatown to get some jewellery and then we went to little india to eat at muthu's curry! did you know that tandoori chicken is called tandoori chicken because it's cooked in a tandoor? and here i thought that tandoori was just a fun word that went well with the word chicken.

and then i went to help kianleong and his "sister" ying xue shop for brother-of-the-bride and flowergirl clothes. she is the sweetest little kid. she doesn't fuss, complain, bite, kick, hit, or pick her nose in public. and all these years i've been thinking that my brother's just doing what all the other kids do. we got her a little pink dress, little purple shoes, and little purple and yellow clips, "amanda" brand. she has such good taste. and at the end of everything she told me and jiayan "thank you jiejie.", which was really cool, because nobody's called me jiejie before. my brother just calls me mandy like everybody else. well, not exactly everybody else. my grandma calls me "mangy".

and then i ran over to the airport to send all the judokas off to japan to beat up the japanese judokas. at first they were going to train with tenri high school, which has the top judokas in japan. but then they changed the school to another high school, which has the slightly-less-top judokas in japan. which is good, because i won't have to expect a soggy bunch of beaten-up mush at the arrival hall on monday. it's always hard to go to the airport, because when you get there you feel like you're going to be taking off in a nice plane, watching friends on the nice personal tv set and wiggling your feet around to stop DVT. and then when you go home on the mrt you wind up in a state of depression, sitting in front of your computer and typing in your blog.

| mando | 8:21 AM


Tuesday, November 26, 2002
i'm sitting at my cousin's house now having a nice girl's night in with my aunties and my cousin. the unbeatables is showing now. the cousins are amazingly incestuous. and then you turn to channel U and there's a man who's in love with his own sister. and on buffy they're censoring lesbians.

so anyway today i went to eat at a conveyor belt sushi bar. its a big scam. they stuff you with so much rice that by the time you get to your fourth piece you're all bloated. and the tea doesn't help either. they count the number of plates you have before tallying up the total. so all you have to do probably is hide all the plates and you pay a couple bucks and walk out with a few hundred plates too! i love the japanese. they're so trusting.

my ankle swelled up lots. it's cool, but only when i dont touch anything with it.

tomorrow we're all going to chinatown and little india. it's like a national education trip. we're going to eat at muthu's curry! mr muthu's homepage is!

| mando | 6:01 AM


Monday, November 25, 2002
today i kicked off the day with a nice 5km run around macritchie. and when i say nice, i'm not being entirely sarcastic. because macritchie is nice and cool in the morning and there are lots of interesting trees and lots of opportunities to watch people fall off the boardwalk into the reservoir. well that didn't happen, but you never know. anyway, the coach didn't realise that it wasn't a great idea to ask his students to start sprinting once we got off the boardwalk and onto a bumpy gravel path with lots of big stones sticking out of it. so anyway, being me, i started running marginally faster than a jog. we were going downhill and huixian was all "wow this path is steep!" and i was all "yeah, and it's so easy to fall and sprain your an-" and then i fell and sprained my ankle.

so after that i went shopping with my cousin mei, and we ran (me hobbling) all over orchard trying to look for her prom dress. and she found one in daniel yam which is poofy and white and strapless and looks absolutely gorgeous on her! and then she spent the rest of the day obsessing about whether or not somebody from her school already bought the same dress. so if anybody from srjc bought the very transparent poofy white daniel yam dress that looks like a crazy wedding gown, burn it burn it burn it!

the bag of cool stuff from america finally got dropped off! my grandma got a ton of food and stuff to clean her dentures with. my mother and auntie got a bunch of shirts and food. me and my cousin got lots of pyjamas, shirts and halloween candy! and i am now the proud owner of a pumpkin carving set! now i can have a pumpkin carving party! if only we didn't have such ugly-ass pumpkins in singapore.

| mando | 7:10 AM


Sunday, November 24, 2002

What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

| mando | 7:47 AM


today is sunday! and today my tua ee came to singapore! and lost one of her bags on the airline! and it's not the bag with her shirts and trousers and underwear in it! it's the bag with all our presents in it! not that that matters. nope, not at all. but because she didn't lose the bag with her clothes in it, the airport isn't going to pay her a hundred and twenty dollars! but she's here anyway. i like it when tua ee comes not only because she's so nice, but because she always smells nice! she smells like america!

so anyway i just watched amelie, and it's the cutest show ever! if i ever called a phone booth and asked somebody to follow the blue arrows here, they'd probably trace the call, ring up the police post, and i'd be spending now and forever behind some nice cold iron bars, and not riding on a bicycle with a handsome frenchman down a pretty paris street.

my small auntie just came back from tokyo, and brought me the sweetest little christmas ornament. its a mickey head made of clear plastic with a red santa hat on top and its angulated like crystal and it has a little bulb inside. so when i flick a switch the little bulb goes on and the mickey head glows a nice soothing blue. don't i sound mature.

| mando | 6:46 AM


Saturday, November 23, 2002
don't we look pretty? this is everybody at a bubble bubble toil and trouble cast party!

and down there are steph (the narrator), me and sarah (princess kate!)

i want to be back onstage again. at that point of time it didn't seem like the most fun thing to do, running around on a set that had lots of splinters and pointy things and lots of altogether potentially dangerous elements sticking out of it. but looking back, i'll probably never get to run around onstage with all those pointy things waiting to stick into my knee or my stomach ever again. or sing really really loudly without anybody complaining. or without hearing the shower run in the background. oh well. who knows, maybe i WILL get to do it again! maybe i'll even end up like this!

fingers crossed, huh? anyway, my auntie is coming from america tomorrow! yippee! so it's back to the airport again to visit sammy and spike and shawn and the no-name-one-eyed-restaurant-fish!

| mando | 5:41 AM


today was the last day of my job shadowing thing. and it ended with a bang because today i saw a mother who's gonna be having triplets next week! she is huge! she's like this huge mountain of human being with 3 more human beings just floating around inside her!

yesterday i saw a woman with 26 fibroids inside her uterus. they wanted to just cut out her entire uterus but she didn't want them to, and so they had to open her up instead of doing laparoscopy and squeeze out all those little fibroid guys. it's just like squeezing out really huge pimples. so they squeezed out 26, and stitched her up, so if she wanted to keep her uterus she's in for a big disappointment because she just traded it in for a big ball of catgut.

oh and yesterday i also went to gen's house for a gen cooked dinner! very nice potato salad and spaghetti and chicken wings. she made the spaghetti sauce all by herself!

| mando | 12:58 AM


Thursday, November 21, 2002

What Teen TV Stereotype Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

| mando | 4:48 AM


i am mightily pissed off. i am mightily mightily pissed off. i hate toilet cleaners. i especially hate indian toilet cleaners. and i especially especially hate the indian toilet cleaners at borders! i went to the loo, and my mom called me when i was in the cubicle. so i answered the phone and put it down on the toilet paper dispenser while i finished up. and then i stepped out of the pretty empty toilet without it and i went up those stairs and then half a minute later it struck me that i had left my phone in there. so i went down the stairs again and when i went into the toilet, it was gone! gone! and there was hardly anybody else in the loo except a benign looking auntie! and then i asked the shifty-looking indian toilet cleaners about it and they said they hadn't seen anything. and then i went to use the public phone for two minutes to cancel my phone account, and then when i went back again, all three shifty-looking indian toilet cleaners were gone! gone! borders has disgusting thieving scumbag toilet cleaners! we should all go to borders and not flush the toilets! and the next time you're there, remember to throw a nice juicy wet piece of toilet paper upwards so that they'll have to scrape it off the ceiling. or better still, throw a nice juicy wet piece of toilet paper at the shifty-looking indian toilet cleaners!

the medical files [cont'd]

today i saw a caesarian section! i had no idea our stomach had so many layers to it! skin, fat, muscle, lots of assorted membranes, uterus, more membranes. 9 layers in all! it's like opening up a leather work bag to look at all the disgusting contents. it's quite simple really. it's like, instead of a pen, you have a nice uterus. instead of a palmtop, you have a bunch of mixed up intestines and connective tissue. isn't medicine cool?
and i saw a normal birth, but they had to use forceps to yank the baby out of there. but he did it really skillfully, so the baby didn't end up with a cocacola bottle shaped head. and it was slightly more painful than the one i saw on my first day. most people would want to adopt by the end of this job shadowing, but i'm still determined to deliver all by myself if i have a kid. my big hips are there for a reason.

| mando | 4:07 AM


Wednesday, November 20, 2002
the medical files

since monday i've been going down to gleneagles medical centre to watch some OB-GYN do his OB-GYN thing. what do those letters mean? that's what i was wondering too. OB stands for obstetrician, which means they take care of pregnant people until the baby pops out of her and then they take pictures carrying the baby, just like politicians do! and GYN stands for gynaecologist, which means they take care of people who have weird itches and weird things sticking out all over their uterus.

so after the first day i could make quite a lot of sense out of the fuzzy fuzzy black screen thing that they call the ultrasound scan. and most importantly, i learned how to identify whether a baby is gonna turn out to be a little boy or a little girl! all you have to do is look for the little boy part or the little girl part! yay! man, i didn't EVER know that before. right. but anyway, you can see little fingers and little toes, and you can see the babies sticking out their tongues! to swallow the liquor! no no, not that kind of liquor. if it were, then i can really understand why there's morning sickness. but anyways, they're so cute!

on monday, i watched a person popping out of another person! it was so cool. it looked pretty painless. i mean, the mother was chatting to the doctor about his golf handicap. but anyway, the baby was a lot less gory than i expected it to be. it's pretty much what they show you on tv, except slightly redder and with a bunch of white stuff hanging off it. the umbilical cord and the placenta is a funny shade of blue. some people use the placenta to make cosmetics. i'm probably never going to use cosmetics again.

on tuesday, i watched a uterus popping out of a person! she had a bunch of blood clots that were screwing up her uterus, so they had to take out the whole thing. they pumped up her stomach with carbon dioxide, and then they did it through laproscopy, which is when they stick a little camera through her bellybutton and two prongs on either side of the bellybutton and look at her insides on a tv screen. and the two prongs use electricity to cook the flesh and burn through it to cut out the uterus, so by the end of the surgery, there's a baking smell like somebody just roasted corn chips, and half your insides look like hannibal lecter's next meal.

today, i watched a polyp popping out of a person! he just plucked it out of there like a little disgusting grape. anyway scrubs would make very nice pyjamas. and the operating theatre is freezing! how do they operate with numb hands? i literally lost all feeling in my thumbs, fourth fingers, and big toes! it was like they were trying to numb the patient with cold so that they could save on anaesthetics! but anyway being in the OT was nice because it reminded me of the time i was in america and they brought us into NASA headquarters.

| mando | 4:33 AM


Monday, November 18, 2002
the overdue obs diaries [cont'd]

Not every puddle is a pond

i will finish telling you about obs today! i will!
so after the junglebashing, we had a little solo night walk thing without torches. and we all had to walk alone on a straight jungle path til we came to a reservoir. so i started walkin a little walk, doin a little dance, freakin a little out, singin a little song.. it was a straight path but you could see both sides of the path and somehow both sides of the path seemed to have little toothy pygmie cannibal junglemen hiding behind all those little ferns. so i finally got to the end of the path and the rest of the watch jumped out at me. thanks guys! so after i recovered from my burst aneurysm, we were all laying in wait for alan. and alan didn't come out, and we heard three short whistle blasts coming from the jungle. so three brave guys went into the jungle to look for a being-dragged-away-by-a-wild-boar-alan. and instead they found standing-and-staring-at-a-puddle-and-blowing-his-whistle-alan. the important life lesson that alan learnt was, not every puddle is a pond. i don't actually blame him. the only reason why i didn't start blowing on my whistle first is because i had to unhitch my backpack, unstrap my lifevest, and unbuckle the lifevest pocket and take out the whistle, which would be approximately enough time for the little toothy pygmie cannibal junglemen to drag me away and eat me.

so the next day we hiked back and lived happily ever after! the end.

| mando | 3:59 AM


Sunday, November 17, 2002
we interrupt this broadcast of the obs diaries for a quick round of grandmother bashing.

today i made the fatal mistake of going over to my grandmother's house for dinner, which i used to do every sunday since i was little. it's a nice warm weekly family get-together where nobody talks to each other and everyone stares at the tv and shovels food into their mouths. i stopped going because it wasn't very nice to hear from your grandmother that you're butt ugly every time you stop over to say hi and wish her good health. so after a long long time of peace and quiet and picking up the bits of self confidence scattered all over the place, i decided to go over there and wish her some more good health. dnaat! mistake number one! and i had just gotten back from shopping, so i wore a spaghetti shirt and jeans instead of my usual enormous t-shirts that they use to cover china when it rains. dnaat! mistake number two! also i just couldn't be bothered to command the sun not to shine on me at obs and fry me to a crisp. because i can do that. really i can. dnaat! mistake number three!

so i headed over there with all my big mistakes and i said hi to her, and she went "your face is very ugly. so many pimples." good health and longevity to you too! how are you? so i ate my dinner far far away from her in relative peace, and then i sat down to read the paper, and suddenly i hear somebody telling me i'm fat and i should exercise more. i wonder who that could be? and then my mom tells her that i've been running around in pulau ubin, kayaking and backpacking my fat ass off, and she tells me i'm fat and i should exercise more. and obviously she hadn't finished with the complexion bit, so she went on about that for awhile. and she's not a big fan of tans. my mom says that she's trying to help when she tells me i'm ugly and my face is full of holes. oh yes, now that you've told me that i'm ugly and my face is full of holes, hey, you know what? they're not there anymore! i'm saved! i have neutrogena asking me to do ads for them! well i guess i'll probably be too wide to lumber in her front door next week, so i'll just skip the emotional scar funfair for a few more months.

| mando | 7:08 AM


Saturday, November 16, 2002
the obs diaries [cont'd]

i'm still falling asleep but i'll still tell you everything now.

when we finally managed to paddle through the centre of pulau ubin, we had to drag our canoes up a cliff and then we built a raft and pushed it off into the quarry. it withstood the "carry" test, the "shake" test, and the "float" test, but it almost didn't survive the "varun sitting on it" test. then came mr thunderstorm and we had a miserable night in our flooded tents. i was sleeping in a little wading pool on my very own waterbed and every time i turned around i sent a bunch of waves towards caroline and divya. at about 4 o clock in the morning nobody could stand it anymore, so we woke up and had a little swimming pool picnic in our tents and we discovered that the kaya bread in our rations tasted like crap. and then we went outside to use the bushes and everyone started huddling around one candle for warmth until we realised that we looked like a bunch of retards and we lit a fire and everyone started warming their asses, which made it hard for us to warm up baked beans on the fire for everybody.

so that was day 4, and i had to be the leader for day 4. even though i'm ct rep, i can safely say i've never been in a position in which i had to be the leader and be responsible for not leading a whole bunch of people into certain doom, so i was pretty stressed. luckily my management team for that day had chuanyang and mingwen (beng boon?) and leisha in it, and they're all macho manly mighty temasek outdoorers! i had so many map coordinates scribbled on my arms that i looked like a luo han fish.

so we walked and walked and walked all the way BACK across the island almost to where we started and we did the flying fox! i was more of a flying screaming pig, but it was fun anyway. you really have to work for the flying fox. you spend an hour and a half hoisting the setup up the slope, and you have to climb this ladder all the way to the sky and when you reach the top you have no energy to try not to fall off the tower. while we did that, all our clothes baked in the sun and they were all hard and i was quite scared that when i picked them up they would fall to itty bitty bits of dry toasty sweater. and then after lunch it started raining again! don't you just love being on a tropical monsoon island with tropical monsoon weather? dry socks were a valuable commodity.

junglebashing and bushwhacking

after climbing some other rock wall which i couldn't quite get up and had to rely on varun the belayer to pull me up, we had to go look for the checkpoint again. so we bashed our way through a narrow jungle path until we found a little piece of plastic attached to a tree that said "obs 11", and then we took the path less travelled out, which meant that we had to bash through a jungle, at night, without the path, which meant getting whapped in the face by a billion branches and vines. so what else is new? my jerrycan was my best friend at that point because i used it to smack a nice jerrycan sized path through the shrubbery for me.

i lied when i said i was going to tell you everything now. i've had an exhausting day trying to peel all the flaky skin off my face. there are little bits of skin everywhere now. i could collect them all and piece them together and use it to resurface an entire human being.

| mando | 7:22 AM


Friday, November 15, 2002
the obs diaries

it's been one week of sleeping on either rocky or squishy floors and wading around in swamps and getting eaten alive by commando mosquitoes. it was so much fun! i think it changed my life!

we were teamed up with a whole bunch of people from tjc who were either from the house committee or odac, so we had very stable tents! there's really a huge difference between tjc and rjc people and i feel pretty ashamed of myself. the tj people have an amazing amount of common sense. anyway caroline and me ended up in the same watch AGAIN! we met in sec3 obs and we were both in kurt, and this year we were in hilary! i just started jumping up and down and having a happy heart attack.

on the first day we did a lot of nonsense like balancing on logs and doing trust falls and learning how to tie a lot of knots which are impossible to untie again, which i found out when i was helping to unpitch tents. and we ate all the good obs food. they give you an overflowing mountain of rice and they pile on a little bit more for fun and then they still ask you "enough not?"

gently down the root beer stream

on the second day we jumped off a plank at the jetty and i swallowed lots of sea water! and then i climbed up the inverse tripod and almost slipped but i refused to let go and give up. not because of my grit and determination but because i kinda didn't really trust my belayer. it was really nice when i got to the top because at the top it's impossible to slip and fall to your death unless you're really stupid. oh, and the sense of satisfaction, that too. and then we packed our bags full of food and ziplock bags and did some kayaking in seawater that looked like root beer! let's all hear a loud eww for that! and varun and yong chuen capsized into a whole bunch of root beer that made a solid skin on the water! let's hear a louder eww! then our instructor ellen told us to paddle into a swamp to find a reservoir and we had to go down three wrong passages and ram into three million mangrove trees before we found the swamp which had a reservoir nearby. and then we had to put mud from the bottom of the swamp on our faces so that the swamp thing wouldn't follow us home. so we paddled on to the old obs camp 2 and set up camp there. we had to walk a long long way to the toilet in the dark and a bunch of guard dogs started barking and we thought that they were loose and would start chasing us around, so we screamed and screamed and screamed and started running around like headless chickens. the instructors could hear us all the way from the jetty! we washed up in romantic candlelight, tried to let everything out so that we wouldn't have to use the bushes in hte middle of the night, and then we ate soggy maggi mee and un-sandy rice! edina and caroline and leisha and yilin are really good cooks. and they're also all girls!

zigzag kayaking

on the next day we started on the expedition, and we had to paddle around in sungei whatever, and cut across pulau ubin. we went down two wrong passages and it's weird how the last passage we try always has to be the right one. anyway caroline and me were canoeing partners, and our canoe never goes straight! we went zig-zag so many times that i think we did twice the distance that we were supposed to and we probably banged into every single person on the expedition. it was fun. all of us got stuck in the wrong passage that was about the width of one canoe, and i guess that's where the expedition leaders got the hint that we were going down the wrong passage. that and the fact that the instructors refused to follow us down the skinny passage. so we had to gostan and kayak backwards all the way along the skinny passage while whacking a lot of mangrove trees and crabs and swamp cockroaches.

i'm falling asleep again so i'll tell you everything later.

| mando | 5:08 PM


Sunday, November 10, 2002
tomorrow is going to be the start of a weekful of snail-y cabbage, throwing random things at wild dogs, climbing things for fun, and eating milo sandwiches! it's going to be so much fun. i think i overpacked again. the seams on my bag seem to be telling me something. oh yeah they're telling me that i forgot to pack my sofa and my huge purple stuffed dinosaur. i can't wait to kayak all around the island, this time not dragging my sleeping-lazy-ass partner behind me. "suba, you must be tired. suba, why don't you take a drink of water?" and then i turn around and she's sleeping! gee, being propelled around the island by someone else while sitting on your ass sure takes it out of you, huh?

| mando | 7:19 AM


| mando | 7:07 AM


Saturday, November 09, 2002

What's Your Personality Type?

brought to you by Quizilla

guess you guys were right after all. i'm a funny, asian, man.

| mando | 3:37 AM


~Find Your Beauty Aura~

i'm elegant! and i have really bad lipstick!

| mando | 3:35 AM


today i taught myself how to swim! without the couching of uncle yeo! so now i can swim 50 metres before drowning. i hope in obs we kayak 50 metres from shore.

i got my orange belt today, which is unbelievably stiff and won't tie around your waist. so i had to keep retying my belt in the middle of getting beaten up. it's really disruptive. when i have time, i'm going to soak the belt in whatever makes belts soft. when i first got my gi, my coach said it was 100% cotton, so we couldn't use softener because softener attacks cotton. just imagine. big fight, hundreds of people, suddenly rrRIP! and now there're hundreds of people looking at the big hole in the seat of your pants!

i think i did something to my foot today. i hope you don't need feet for obs.

there are mosquitoes everywhere! they keep fogging the condominium beside my house to get rid of all the friendly neighbourhood mosquitoes, and all the friendly neighbourhood mosquitoes just fly happily into my house! and they don't fly happily out again!

| mando | 3:16 AM


Friday, November 08, 2002

What Color Eyes Should You Have?

brought to you by Quizilla

that's a cool thing to do with bread.

| mando | 10:12 PM


i love free dinners. especially free dinners when the talk is half an hour long. i think they serve lamb in heaven. and there was a jazz performance by a famous local jazz singer who i've never heard of before. he's pretty good, but he didn't sing my request and that makes him a bad, bad man. i think he's in love with his violinist because he kept turning to her and leering. or maybe it was just showmanship-ly smiling. i was too far away to tell.

anyway there was this old man sitting opposite us at the table, and he was so drunk! either he was drunk or he just found the bottom of his champagne glass really amusing. and he kept bopping around. when there wasn't any music playing.
another old man had something about mary hair. i was behind him in the buffet line and i was so busy staring that i missed the sushi! dammit!

oh yeah and today for chinese i rehashed my entire promos composition and i used all the same idioms and everything. i realised that in every composition i have written so far since secondary school, i've used the phrase "my tears fell down like a broken strand of pearls". here's hoping this is the last time i'll ever have to use that.

oh and on the bus i saw a banner for a "brisk walking club". my gosh! they have clubs for everything! tomorrow i'm going to set up a "chew slowly club"!

| mando | 6:21 AM


Thursday, November 07, 2002
16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours 16 more hours till i can start studying for sats! whoohoo! not.

| mando | 3:15 AM


Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 164.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 161 and above is considered to be a "genius".

For a complete analysis of your intelligence, you can purchase your Personal Intelligence Evaluation below.
This report is an analysis of your 12 distinct types of intelligence. For example, in the IQ test you just took,
your pattern recognition score is 100.

i just took the iq test, and it turns out, i'm a genius with an iq of 164! i knew it! hope it means that i'm going to pass chinese on friday. and i feel even smarter now because i'm refusing to purchase their "personal intelligence evaluation".

ok everybody, this is going to be ugly, but this is a once in a lifetime chance to see... the chickenpoxman!!! You know the thing that kids say hides under their beds at night, waiting to swallow them if they step off the bed to go pee? This is him!!! You know the thing that you look into mirrors on dark, creepy, stormy nights and expect to see standing creepily behind you? This is him too!!!

ok, so it's kianleong's face. but really, what's the difference?

to relieve you of the sore eyes that you got from looking at that last picture, here's a picture of sugar, spice and everything nice, who will beat you up if you say we're not sugar, spice and everything nice.

| mando | 1:48 AM


Tuesday, November 05, 2002
today i got up bright and early and walked out to gelare at 9.30, thinking, ok, i'll have a nice breakfast with my friends and study some chinese after that! then i got there and studied some chinese while waiting. and after a while of studying chinese and freezing my ass off, i looked at my watch, and i thought, ok, i'll have a nice lunch with my friends and study some chinese after that! shawn walked down the red carpet at 11am and xingning walked down the by then very old and festering red carpet at 12 and then we went to orchard to do nothing. but on the bright side, while waiting, i studied up til "N" in the chinese textbook.

it rained! liquid snow! don't you feel the christmas spirit just creeping up on you? you do? that means it's time to buy christmas presents! i don't need fancy wrapping paper, ok?

so later at the bus stop i was walking towards bus number 14, and i was walking past this old lady. so i was hit by a bout of civic-mindedness and i thought, ok, let's let this old lady walk first, even though by the time we both get on the bus the new millenium will have hit. and as i was thinking nice, kind, non-violent thoughts, from behind us comes this man who shoves us both aside and takes a long running jump onto the bus! and then the old lady hits me with her bag! when i grow up, and i get my kawasaki motorcycle, i'm going to devote all my spare time to running down pushy men and old ladies. no actually i'm not that brutal. i'll just run down the old ladies with hitty bags.

i saw a lot of good engrish in town. this was written on the back of some girl's jacket. "It lives as the actual freedom of searching for something" Run free and search for freedom, oh pack of wild jackets! and on a tag attached to a scarf was "there is nothing that is not useful for something". hey, that's my motto too!

| mando | 3:32 AM


Monday, November 04, 2002
today sure was an exciting day! guess what happened? it rained! wow! doesn't that just get that adrenaline surging? but i did see this old man pick up a hose and spray water all over the road while it was raining. isn't that just the sanest thing you have ever seen?

anyway other than that i've been watching FRIENDS all day, and i SO love chandler! when he was skinny and had that cute crooked tooth thing going on. Now he's all flabby and henpecked and has that glow-in-the-dark-white plastic teeth stuff in his mouth.

oh no now all those annoying little flies that are attracted to your light, live one day and then die all over your room are coming in through my window! i gotta go close my window! why am i still typing?

| mando | 3:59 AM


Sunday, November 03, 2002
hey! my fastcounter is up! and it has one hit on it! from me! yay!

| mando | 10:57 PM


happy deepavali and God bless us everyone! i gotta remember to watch "bollywood bound" and "bombay boys" in honour of this special day! it's too bad they're not screening the indian classic "baba". everything starts with a "b"! because b is bely bely beautibul albabet!

yesterday i had my hair in a twisty bun all day, and before i went to sleep, i untied it. and i ended up with really nice curly bouncy hair! all for free! and so i spent about ten minutes hopping around and watching my bouncy hair bounce around. why does my hair only look nice before i go to sleep? i never meet cute guys when i go to sleep!

| mando | 10:56 PM


What Simpsons Caracter do you most closely resemble?

brought to you by Quizilla
sure, i'm the brains and yet i can't spell "opperation" properly.

| mando | 5:33 AM


Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?

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i think i have a thing for white-ass blond guys.

| mando | 5:30 AM


last night i dreamt that i was trapped in an alleyway and i had a task to carry out, which was to take out these two guys who had heavy baseball bats. and i had my hands. and you'd think since it was a dream i'd be able to take them out with my little finger. me too. but it turns out that i was running a little low on positive imagination last night and they kicked my ass. what a crappy dream.

today was my dad's birthday! my mom baked a white forest cake (she didn't know how to make chocolate cream) and we had a nice time singing the happy birthday song while dancing around in front of a window, which on hindsight was a horrible idea, because the neighbours are going to look at us all funny from now on. and i had a nice time trying to scrape off all the cream on my cake. i never know what to get for my dad because he's hakka and always tells me not to waste precious money buying him another tie. for 3 years i bought him ties because the one he uses looks kinda mouldy. and for 3 years the ties have been sitting pretty in his cupboard and he's still using the mouldy one. for father's day i burnt him a cd with fatherly songs on them like "butterfly kisses". he was quite happy with that, partly because it was free.

my auntie emailed me from america telling me about halloween. she forgot to buy candy for the kids because she didn't know that they were coming. i hope they didn't toilet paper her house. but then again if they did, free toilet paper! see there's always an upside to everything!

and i watched the les miserables 10th anniversary concert for like the 9132264th time. yucai, remember it's not "less miserables", its "lay mizerabb". don't look at me! it's those damn french people! anyway it still breaks my heart every time eponine dies. it's gotta be nice dying in the arms of a (hot) man you love. it would probably be even better if you were in his arms and you weren't dying, but if i'm going to die, i'd like to go that way. oh, and i'd like to be singing while i go too. for dramatic effect.

| mando | 1:56 AM


Saturday, November 02, 2002

me, xingning and yucai just finished taking the bio project pictures. this is the work of art that i created! i call it "fruit lady". anyway it was a very fruitful afternoon (come on, laugh!). 3 people to cut open a bunch of fruits, position them in an artistic manner (which means putting them slanted and on top of each other) and take a few photos took us 3 hours plus. i wonder why.

yucai was hard at work, diligently eating the fruits so that we could take a picture of a mango seed. he's really a team player. i admire him for his selflessness.
the brand of the apple we used today was "jun jie". jasper you must be so proud! i still have the sticker!

| mando | 3:17 AM


Friday, November 01, 2002
today i went for the most slackoff and unproductive training ever! it was such a good day. we did warm-ups and did something that's called a beep test. or a bip test. but the sound they made didn't really sound like "beep", it sounded more like "dnaat!" so i'll call it the dnaat test. so we ran back and forth and back and forth and back and forth for a really long time and i managed to survive til the 6th series, round 8 before my little legs couldn't carry me back and forth and back and forth anymore. so this dnaat test took up about 2 hours, and we just sat around watching people run back and forth. it was like watching a really slow tennis game. anyway ghim was running around like he wasn't even tired until the 9th series, round 7. let's hear a big 'whoa!' for ghim!

yesterday i watched the most disgusting game show ever. it was some taiwanese show with the two jap girls who speak lousier chinese than me. anyway they were trying to play a prank on this guy, let's call him Mr. Completelystupidandhorny. So they brought Mr Completelystupidandhorny's pretty girlfriend up to the studios to watch what was happening on a tv screen. So this girl, let's call her Miss Unfeelingandhorsefacey, dressed up like some kuay and went to seduce Mr. Completelystupidandhorny. Mr. C eventually tried to seduce Miss Unfeelingandhorsefacey back. And the pretty girlfriend was just crying her eyes out up in the studios, watching her boyfriend say that he didn't have a girlfriend and he wanted to go for tea with Miss U. And the rest of the hosts were just sitting around and pointing at the screen and laughing. "Oh ha ha we've proven that your boyfriend is a lying horny asshole! Oh ha ha it's hilarious the way we're destroying your relationship!" And then when Mr C went up to the studios to meet his girlfriend, the hosts were all like "Oh ha ha now this is awkward!" and they started smacking their hands together and they were all like, "Yay! Don't be angry! Don't cry! Don't be angry that we've squished your heart into a million pieces and have broken you guys up in front of the whole word! Goodbye!" and then they shoved Mr C and the crying girlfriend out the door and they were all like "thanks for watching see you next week!" Hey, i know a good english name for this show. How about, Gotcha! We've ruined your life!

| mando | 10:45 PM


Which PPG are you?

she has lousy hair!!!

| mando | 4:59 AM


oh yeah and also i'm having a terrible time after watching red dragon. i keep looking at mirrors to see if they're broken, because if they're broken i know that soon i'm going to have to take a gunshot to my chest and a bunch of mirror bits in my eyes.

| mando | 4:45 AM


aha! i just saw ghim's blog in the "10 most recently published blogs" section! ooh.

anyway today is the 1st of November, and i turned the calendar page, and what do i see? SPIKE! on the calendar! in all his spike-ness! oh this is going to be a good month.

so today was IPW presentation, and we had a lot of trauma trying to find one of our missing members who thought that the presentation was in the afternoon. so when it was our turn and when we got to the question and answer session, i was all prepared for all the questions that they asked angela's group before us. For "what did you find most interesting about this project?" i had a blablabla prepared and for "what did you learn about yourself?" i had a yadayadayada. and then they asked me a totally new question which i answered with something like bzztkjeukaka which makes no sense whatsoever! dammit.

my brother just woke me up from a nice deep sleep and a nice dream to tell me that one of my friends was here to visit and he didn't know who she was but he had seen her before. so i thought "hey, xingning's doing a ghim!" and i changed and got decent and ran downstairs to find an auntie who really didn't care whether i was around or not. that is the first time in a long time when i felt like i could actually strangle my brother.

but anyway, the nice dream. first it started off with me and xingning, gen, jasper, jianyang and shawn in a shopping centre and we were just walking around. everyone had major speaking roles except for timothy, who was the guy manning the Subway sandwich stall, and jasper, who had one line which was "no don't eat from the subway stall, its gross." But that wasn't the nice part. the nice part is when i was suddenly transported to italy on a bench in a park filled with pigeons with edward norton! and he was buying me a pretzel. and he wasn't even breaking into a house at night to look at bloodstains on the walls or dead bodies either. and there was italian music playing and then i got poked in the shoulder and woke up. dammit!

| mando | 4:38 AM


daniel the yoda
isaac the prawn
judo girls
nat koh
nat lee
qiumei the bunny
ruxin the penguin
victor tan
zhongyang the sheep

at the zoo
xing/manda in london
xing/manda in paris
me and mom in melbourne
phone photos
philly trip
Operation Theatre [new]

Justin Chambers
James Marsden
josh groban
David Archuletta

Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
New York City travel guides

Juno OST
Queen - Greatest Hits
David Archuletta

Gray's Anatomy
American Idol

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