Wednesday, April 30, 2003
i'm studying for SATs now and i realised that lots of words that i learnt from tv and comic books are in the high frequency word list! for example, i learnt the word "mendicant" from Groo the Wanderer! someone says to groo, "hey groo! chakka said you were a mendicant!" and then groo beats him up. and from xmen i learnt lots of words like "exonerated" and "restitution", and also words like "snikt!" and "bampf!". comics are so intellectual. and i also learnt some words from charlie and the great glass elevator because of the "pernicious" knids! i'm so proud of myself.
| mando | 8:52 PM
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
today for pe we all played badminton and pickleball instead of running around really fast to get absolutely nowhere! our pickleball landed smack into this hole in the stage and since i'm short i had to crawl under the dark dusty disgusting stage to get the ball while miss poon made ratty noises. see? being short is a good thing! being short means you're able to crawl under dark dusty disgusting stages to get balls while getting really dirty! hey wait a minute.
| mando | 7:37 AM
Monday, April 28, 2003
its a good thing that ben and jerry's
doesnt have a shop here or else one of my thighs would be the size of my waist already. they have "core ice cream" which is a pint of ice cream with a peanut butter core or caramel core or fudge core and they stuff all sorts of good things into their ice creams. one pint of "half baked ice cream" has brownie chunks and cookie dough, and "everything but the.." has heath bar pieces, fudge pieces, peanut butter cups, more fudge chunks and all sorts of nonsense in it. i dont know how they leave enough room for the ice cream. maybe if i write a ten word letter to them they'll give me a free pint!
today gek cher gave me a gigantic box of chocolates that weighs as much as an elephant that just ingested three big bars of cadbury's chocolate! everyone was very helpful in assisting me in finishing two whole bars today. thanks gek cher! i will get you an elephant that ingested a box of kinder bueno another day!
| mando | 6:23 AM
Sunday, April 27, 2003
my cousin showed me a magazine full of japanese people who like to dress weird. apparently the japanese call it "being fashionable". its full of girls who obviously need some psychiatric help, because they can't figure out what to wear in the morning. "hey, i like this t-shirt! its yellow! i think i'll wear it today with these jeans! but oh hey, this green skirt, huh? what about this green skirt? i want to wear it too with the yellow shirt so i can look like an upside down pineapple! oh wait a minute! i can wear the green skirt over my jeans! and this stripey sock would look just great on my left hand! let's throw in a pair of suspenders since i've already got the ball rolling!" these people should be given uniforms for life. or at least be taught the difference between "and" and "or". you can eat a piece of sushi AND a piece of tempura, but you can't wear your whole wardrobe AND your sister's whole wardrobe at the same time.
| mando | 7:08 AM
Friday, April 25, 2003
today my the last of my baby hamsters went to their new homes. they're now living illegally in a hostel. we were having fun with the baby hamsters during break. kianleong and dickson decided to race them across the canteen tables! it could be a whole new sport! except you would have to have a very small stadium. anyway kianleong's won because he kept giving it encouraging pats on the ass. jasper and kianleong and me took one of the hamsters on "the neverending hand road". and the other one settled down on xingning's hand and felt so at home that he stuck his hand into his cheek pouches and started unpacking. i'm going to miss those two.
| mando | 6:12 AM
Thursday, April 24, 2003
my foot is killing me. i can't walk around without looking like i have a porcupine shoved up my right pant leg now. the limp is really putting a huge roadblock in my "trying to walk around looking cool" plan.
carmen finally got booted off american idol today. she's probably back home right now in trig class whining about how she spent her last episode on american idol covered in zits like the rest of us still stuck here in pubertyville.
| mando | 6:59 AM
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
today is dehan's birthday! happy birthday dehan! i hope he doesn't grow anymore. and i hope he likes the towel i gave him with his name on it so nobody can steal his towel unless they are called dehan. i made a towel for dickson too because his birthday's coming up but his name is way too long so i just sewed on "dick". i hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.
8 days printed my angry letter about american idol! but then i wrote it when i was feeling exhausted and very retarded so it has undergone extensive editing and i cannot enjoy a free spa treatment which is what they give you when you write a nice letter with no grammatical errors. but i have a nice big picture of kelly clarkson next to my letter. it's even better than the time i sent a ten word letter to the ice cream company TCBY and got a free cookie!
because pasir panjang vegetable wholesale market has been closed i haven't been eating a whole bunch of vegetables for awhile. i think my grandma noticed my constipation levels were going through the roof so i'm now chewing my way through a pile of dou miao.
| mando | 5:25 AM
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
big ouchies for me because i was eating potato chips and i rubbed my eye with a salty finger and coincidentally i have a cut on my lower eyelid, probably from rolling around on the ground while trying to smoosh the air out of someone. but my philosophy is we must always learn from our bad experiences. so i have learnt not to rub salt into bloody wounds on your face. an important life lesson, especially if you like chips.
today was the great easter egg hunt! miss hor dyed lots of eggs pretty colours and hid them all over the field for us while getting chomped on by a bunch of insects. i didn't find any because jasper, jianyang and the prcs are all like bloodhounds and found all 26 before i looked into my first bush. then she gave us a kinder surprise each! i wasn't impressed by my wooden car that hung on a string and did nothing, but angela had a nice surprise which was an armadillo that could roll up and roll out again! and dickson got a plastic cat in a basket that does nothing too! the instructions are, #1) wonder what could be inside that little plastic basket. #2) open basket and look at cat and be surprised. #3) close basket and repeat. suitable for a mature audience. then we ate our hard boiled eggs and me and xingning felt sick from the coloured dye. jianbang and dickson decided to feed the eggshells to the fish in the pond. i think they liked it. the turtles however are too snooty to eat the eggshells. i hope we don't find a bunch of floating fish tomorrow. miss hor is fantastic. if only we didn't piss her off a few lessons after she gave us all the eggs.
| mando | 5:50 AM
Monday, April 21, 2003
last night i had a dream where i was a cop and i was fighting crime. being the brave person i am i eventually ended up running away from the crime. i think i can cross law enforcement off my career list. i need a job that i can't run away from.
i was really bored, so i cheated on a bunch of quizzes.
You are Rogue!
You are sexy and strong willed, and able to take on
just about anyone. You long for a serious
relationship, but whenever you begin to get
close to someone things always seem to take
turns for the worse. But you have dealt with
this lack of closeness with an almost constant
Which X-Men character are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla
Gambit! You like the traditional, smooth-tongued
hottie. They are such diplomats! You could go
gambling, or perhaps thrill them with a magic
show...if they didn't catch every sleight-of-
The Ultimate X-men Soul Mate Quiz!(male and female characters) brought to you by Quizilla
Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?
You are the super tough Rogue! So you fly and can
bash heads better than anyone else, but you
need to stop and ask questions first before you
beat someone's brains in. A very handy, but
dirty habit that you really need to look into
Which X-Men Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
that's actually true. it's only polite to ask first before you clobber someone into a twitching pulp, especially in the south.
| mando | 6:07 AM
Saturday, April 19, 2003
kenneth and danielle are getting married! i havent seen them since bubble bubble the musical and now i'm going to be seeing them again and danielle is going to be wearing a nice white dress held up by a couple of cute kids and kenneth is going to be looking very smart in a nice suit and they are going to be smooching away with their rings on! happiness all over the place! i can't wait to go! then i can sit with kiru and sarah and eva and throw confetti around.
i was watching a documentary about weird food. this travel host guy got sent to some village to eat muskrat. they stuff the muskrat with stones with the fuzz still on then the hot stones cook the muskrat from the inside out. and the travel host guy was chewing away and going "hmm this is chewy. did you know that some muskrats still carry the bubonic plague?" delicious! and then in another village the chief dug out a sheep's eyeball and he was chewing away again and smiling at the chief going "mmm. i've been chewing this for a long time. this doesn't seem to be going anywhere. oh my, its still here." and the chief was smiling back at him and going "goot? goot?" and then some other host ran over to some other country to eat deep fried guinea pig and she wouldn't eat it because they roasted it with their little hands and little legs on. it was quite disturbing that the show was making me a bit hungry. but then anything deep fried is good enough for my stomach! give me some sweet sauce and down it goes!
| mando | 9:18 PM
yesterday was good friday and i had a very nice good friday service at church. even though i was born in a christian family and i've been going to church since i was very very little, i've never really felt the real impact that jesus' death on the cross had on my life. but yesterday i think i actually felt a bunch of emotions about his crucifixion. they had a little mime that went along to the song "watch the lamb", and the guy who was playing jesus was struggling with his cross while being beaten down by the soldiers shoving him towards where he was to be crucified. jesus, god's SON, a manifestation of god himself, being spat on and having things thrown at him by mere human beings. we're chock full of sin. we should have been up there on the cross, having nails driven through our wrists and hanging there for days, not being able to free ourselves of the pain until we finally expire. we should be screaming for mercy in hell after we die. jesus, who has lived years and years on earth without once committing a sin (which must have been a fantastic struggle), volunteered to take those nails and suffer just so we could be spared. we deserve it, he didn't. and the price that we have to pay for eternal salvation is so small! all we have to do is believe that he gave his life for us! in the past, to me, it was all just "jesus died to pay of our sins. er, hallelujah? yay, amen?" after seventeen years, i've FINALLY realised that i've accepted the greatest gift that anyone could be given. it took me seventeen years to realise that i don't have to worry about satan sticking me on a skewer and roasting me over a spit forever after i die. it took me seventeen years to stop being numb. and i hope i will never take it for granted again. it's a gift big enough to be eternally grateful for.
"Watch the Lamb"
Walking On the Road
The time had come to sacrifice,
My two small sons,
They walked beside me down the road,
The reason that they came,
Was to watch the lamb...
And they said,
What will we see there,
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And I said dear children,
"Watch the lamb....
There will be so many,
In Jerusalem today,
We must be sure this little lamb,
Doesn't run away,"
And I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And I said "Dear children,
Watch the lamb...."
When we reached the city,
I knew something must be wrong,
There were no joyful worshippers there,
No joyful worship songs,
And I stood there,
With my children,
In the midst of angry men,
Then I heard a crowd cry out,
"Let's Crucify Him!"
We tried to leave the city,
But we could not get away,
Forced to play in this drama,
A part i did not want to play,
Why upon this day were men condemned to die,
Why were we standing right here,
Where soon they would pass by,
I looked and I said,
"Even now they come,"
The first one cried for mercy,
The people gave him none,
The second one was violent,
He was arrogant and loud,
I can still hear his angry voice,
Screaming at the crowd,
Then someone said,
I scarce believed my eyes,
A man so badly beaten,
He barely looked alive,
Blood poured from His body,
From the thorns on His brow,
Running down the cross,
And falling to the ground,
I watched as He struggled,
And I watched Him when He fell,
The cross came down upon His back,
And the crowd began to yell,
In that moment I felt such agony,
In that moment I felt such loss,
Till the roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed,
"YOU! Carry his cross!"
At first I tried to resist him,
But his hand reached for his sword,
So I knelt and I took
The cross from the Lord
I put it on my shoulders
We started down the street
And the blood that He'd been shedding,
Was running down my cheek...
They led us to Golgatha
They drove nails,
Deep in His feet and hands,
And on the cross,
I heard him pray,
"Father, forgive them..."
Never have I seen such love
In any other eyes
"Into thy hands I commit my spirit,"
And then He died.
I stood for what seemed like years,
I lost all sense of time,
Then I felt these little hands
Holding onto mine
My children stood there weeping,
And I heard the oldest say
"Father please forgive us,
What've we seen here,
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I took them in my arms,
We turned and faced the cross
And I said
Watch the lamb."
| mando | 4:56 AM
Thursday, April 17, 2003
i just watched buffy and has anyone been noticing how spike's sexiness meter keeps going through the roof? and it was quite disturbing to see willow kill a little deer. first she's all nice and innocent and wearing overalls, and a couple of seasons later before you can even think about it she's a lesbian witch! and killing deer! and even worse, she's not funny anymore! i wish she'd go back to being funny and trying to smooch xander but then there are no more seasons left. the only thing mildly funny is the robot buffy when someone says "you're a robot!" and she says "thank you!". if i were a robot i would be proud of my robocity too!
and on american idol carmen will continue to yodel in our faces for another week. my university thesis is going to be "tone-deafness in americans".
the guinea pigs are gone and we are all going to have to go back to looking at the turtles. the turtles are no fun because all you do is kick them back into the pond and they dont run to you when you whistle and they like to bite people's fingers off. jiayan and gen and xingning are very sad.
| mando | 6:58 AM
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
today was the first judo training in a month! normally, the macho me would be glad that we didn't do much today. but since i'm not macho anymore, i'm not feeling anything besides a large amount of pain. buffy is coming back tonight! maybe buffy coming back from the dead and kicking ass will inspire me to get around to kicking some ass too! but buffy is at 12 midnight today. expect me to be a very pooped girl tomorrow. how can channel 5 expect me to kick ass when i'm pooped from watching buffy at 12 midnight?!
| mando | 6:00 AM
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
today i visited my best buddy mr comic book shop uncle and had another productive conversation with him about more comics that i wanted. he plays christian music in the store, and has buddhist amulets and catholic pictures in his cash register. either mr comic book shop uncle is very serious about his free-thinker status, or he's just a very confused guy. anyway i bought a nice trade paperback that kicks off with the x-men playing a violent game of baseball!
i had my hepatitis B jab today. i am now officially 2/3rds immunised against hepatitis B! i feel empowered! when i get my third jab i'll be ready to take over the world!
we have guinea pigs in a big cage in school now. they are cute and they whistle. guinea pigs whistle! who knew? gen and kianleong have named one "mohawk" and another one "airhead". jiayan has discovered that the guinea pigs like to go "mummummummummummummummummummummummum". hee hee hee.
and jiayan brought her book called "the melancholy death of oyster boy". its very cute but it has lots of stories about the sad demises of little weird children with heads like oysters and melons. and the doomed love story of stick boy and match girl! my favourite is a toxic boy named roy who died when he started breathing in fresh air. my next favourite is voodoo girl, who can't get too close to anyone because hugging someone will make the pins in her heart stick in further. profound AND true! wow! my next sewing project will be to sew a voodoo girl and a toxic boy! i hope i dont have copyright problems with that.
stick boy and match girl
| mando | 6:18 AM
Monday, April 14, 2003
today they gave back a bunch of common test papers and i did the best i have ever done in jc! thank God! and also thank starbucks for charging me a lot of money for their expensive drinks just so i could study at their overpriced cafe.
i was trying to look for a place that has singing lessons so that after exams, me and xingning and whoever can go and learn how to sing properly and in an unoffensive manner. but i couldn't find any besides those that teach you to sing "one night in beijing" to five different karaoke backgrounds (autumn trees, evening seashore, peach blossoms, long haired lady with scarves, flowing river). but then i read an article in newsweek about antonio banderas. apparently he can sing and he's going to sing on broadway! and he has a special diet to sing well. you cannot eat dairy because otherwise "there is a lot of phlegms". so the diet is made up of greasy eggs and greasy bacon and lots of bags of potato chips, because grease is good for the smooth voice. finally there is a sensible solution to my problems! i'm going to work so hard on getting a good voice now, dammit!
| mando | 5:05 AM
Sunday, April 13, 2003
i just realised something really whack. (i just heard the word "whack" on tv and so i added it to my list of "i dunno what they mean but they sound cool" words! so don't ask me what it means because i dunno.) anyway you know how on the top of your blog there's this ad? the ad is sort of personalised according to what you write. mine keeps going on about martial arts and how to take care of your hamsters. timothy's
says "how to cure writer's block" because he wrote about having writer's block. jasper
keeps writing about seafood and his ads tell you where to get quality maine lobster. and yucai's
somehow says "schizophrenia education" and "bipolar disorder". psychoanalysis brought free right to your monitor by blogger! although yucai said that jasper's link has now changed to something about cards, so apparently the programme thinks that jasper is a gluttonous gambling addict.
| mando | 9:13 AM
Saturday, April 12, 2003
the other day i had a dream that the x-men flew by to recruit me. storm was trying to tell me something important about being an x-man, but then i don't remember what it was because i was probably too busy ogling gambit. anyway we got into a fight with some bad guys pretty quickly after that, and i didn't do much except kick people on the shins. i woke up before i could discover my true superpower. i gotta go think of a cool superpower to have in case i have the same dream again. it was funny when colin mochrie in "whose line is it anyway" was "impotence man"! but that's not cool though. but anyway i have already figured out what i want to look like as a superhero and i made one online. i call myself "machomanda"! i wear a snazzy purple suit and have a big smile when i kick ass!
| mando | 4:23 AM
Friday, April 11, 2003
today we all went cycling! me and yucai were the only scrupulous ones who were early so we went cycling for awhile first with bicycles with very hard seats. fun! there were lots of little kids around, and those are the worst people to be cycling around because they're so small that you can't even see them coming. yucai nearly got one! he nearly got a couple of birds too! my total head count was zero because i'm closer to the ground and can see little maniac kids who are about to run straight into my wheel of death.
then after we recovered from the hard seats jianbang came all the way from yio chu kang with his bicycle which also has a very hard seat. so many hard seats. its quite hard for me to sit down now to write this, but, i continue! jianbang is a very professional navigator. his roadie survival kit has face wash and a towel and a singapore street directory in it. and he actually understands what the little coloured lines in the road directory means. he's really someone you want to have around when you're lost in a foreign country where everyone speaks nothing except Azerbaijani. its very cool. then we skipped a few stones and then finally everyone came and we cycled around for awhile which was quite nice because all the kids had gone home and there were only dogs left to run over. anyway bad things always seem to happen to gen when she cycles. pavements run out from underneath her and dogs run out in front of her and fences run into her. that can't be good. the last one was very not good because she now has a huge bump on her forehead and scratches all over! she looks like she just crawled out of survivor now. i hope she is not concussed and projectile vomiting right now. i also think she should wear her hair down on sunday. anyway i am quite happy because after four years of not practicing, i can still cycle without my good friend, mr bicycle handlebars! in between trying to avoid puddles and avoid bashing into people, i was remembering the days i used to go biking every day with my el cheapo bike with no brakes when i was 10 to 13. it was the only time in my whole life that i actually socialised with the neighbourhood kids, who strangely moved away shortly after i started socialising with them. anyway i wish that my bicycle now wasn't el rusto. i need some new wheels for my marin.
| mando | 8:48 AM
Thursday, April 10, 2003
discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com
has the most delicious quizzes!
| mando | 8:26 AM
today was the physics paper! and i could do it! hooray!
more importantly, we went shopping for gen's gown for her "commissioners' ball" and we found lots of slinky little numbers with lots of high slits and trains that you hang on your finger and walk around with. it was a hard journey because gen looked all pretty in nearly everything. i think she finally settled on a dress that makes her look like she's going to be in the front row in the oscars. babelicious! i tried on a few dresses and tried to be babelicious but my stomach kept getting in the way. and then when we went into daniel yam we saw this chinese girl and caucasian guy from some international school choosing the girl a prom dress. and she kept going "i will DIE if someone has the same dress as me. i mean, i will just DIE." so THAT'S the way to wipe out evil warring forces! buy them an armyload of identical prom dresses!
and i made a quick pit stop at hollywood secrets to pluck my eyebrows. its quite scary to just sit there with a bib around your neck and let a woman attack you with a pair of tweezers. i think humans are the only species civilized enough to sit there and let some strange person pull hairs out of our faces. but now the caterpillar count on my face has gone down dramatically! so i think i got my money's worth.
now i am exhausted and the velvet on my velvet slippers is all gone. i didn't know that having fun was so much work!
| mando | 7:17 AM
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
today we had to listen to a long talk about SARS. i learnt that i should wash my hands with soap and that i should not sneeze indiscriminately. i wonder if i have been sneezing indiscriminately all this time and thus not having civic responsibility! oh no! crucify me! i will now have to attend classes on how to use my tissue properly.
i went to the comic book shop and had a long discussion with the uncle about what comics i wanted but he didn't have. which was a bit pointless. then i had another long discussion about what comics i wanted but he didn't have yet. at least that got somewhere. now i have to remember to drop by in a week to pick up some "emily the strange" and "hopeless savages" comics.
then i studied with xingning at macdonalds. we were planning to study at starbucks and smell coffeemaking smells for free. but then it was full of actual paying customers who wouldn't stay there until hell froze over. those damn paying customers! so we had to walk to mcdonalds which smells like the toilet attached to it. i saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said "i AM in shape. round is a shape." i think that will be my lifelong motto! and we ate lots of stuff, but very little of it came from macdonalds. haha! we have outsmarted the system again! if i didn't have a physics exam tomorrow which i am very sure that i'm going to fail i would be laughing even more diabolically for no reason! oh what the hell. you only live once. hahahahahaha!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
by the way i have taken bee's advice (whoever bee is) and bought some honey teddy grahams. unfortunately they are ittybitty. i am scouting around for ittybitty marshmallows and ittybitty chocolate chips to put between them to make my ittybitty smores with.
| mando | 7:50 AM
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
i'm eating one of my granma's yamballs. you haven't lived til you've eaten a shirley soh yamball. or a shirley soh fried chicken. or a shirley soh hokkien mee. or a shirley soh fried squid. or a shirley soh fried prawn. or a shirley soh pork chop. or a shirley soh anything. but anyway, the yamball is fried and has a scallop in the middle. my granma is fantastic! she can cook like someone from excuse me, the kitchen of heaven, and she picked up english all by herself, and she's over seventy and insists on going on her knees and mopping her own room and bathroom by herself. she's like wonderma! she could wear a batik printed leotard and have a magical hearing aid!
i'm rereading all my xmen comics. i only buy the ones that have rogue and gambit in them. they're such a sexy couple because none of them have bones growing out of their heads or are all hairy. and also because rogue can't touch anybody without hurting them. so apparently they've only kissed twice. but they're still very sexy.
yesterday i went down to cold storage to look for yummies. they finally have my choclate chip cookie dough ice cream but for some strange reason i didn't buy it. stupid! stupid! then i found graham crackers! the holy grail! i've been looking for graham crackers since i was very small and watched barney and he said to make "s'mores" with graham crackers and chocolate and a marshmallow and i havent found graham crackers until now! unfortunately the holy grail costs $8.95 for a teeny box. stupid grail.
| mando | 5:00 AM
Monday, April 07, 2003
today i went outside to study and saw a man walk right into the mcdonald's glass door and almost shatter his forehead. then he walked around mcdonalds in a daze before ordering a big mac. poor guy.
the radio keeps playing angry painful songs. why do people keep writing angry painful songs and singing them? why are they angry in the first place? they're all rich and famous! they'd have to jump off buildings on a daily basis to have that much pain! and those poor people who write happy songs can't get rich because everyone likes painful songs! i think i've just observed some good irony! whoo! go me!
| mando | 5:17 AM
Sunday, April 06, 2003
the gilmore girls are back! and they still have nice clothes and talk too fast! and they still have handsome significant others! this calls for a big hooray! say it with me now, HOORAY! but then because they always talk too fast my laugh track always comes half a minute late while i'm trying to figure out which pop-culture reference they're referring to.
| mando | 9:57 AM
Saturday, April 05, 2003
has two cute useless blobs! so i decided to adopt one too! and being a south park fan, i adopted me a cute canadian blob!
| mando | 8:09 AM
Which chicago Character Are You?
Brought to you by Faytrialand xingning
| mando | 7:53 AM
ain't she the prettiest pregnant woman?
today i went to a medical talk about erectile dysfunction. it was very educational! i'm glad i'm not a man! because when you get old and have erectile dysfunction, it makes you "lonely and depressed" and "causes you to distance yourself from your loved ones". but no worries! because it can be treated with cialis which lets you "choose the moment" over a period of 36 hours instead of jumping in right after taking the blue pill! wow! and they even had a little skit with that fat man from "a war diary" and he was standing there looking sad and suddenly yells out "I have erectile dysfunction!" i wonder how much they had to pay him to do that.
then we had dinner and halfway through the dinner they gave us a silver platter of yellow and blue m&ms. yellow is the colour of cialis and blue is the colour of.. you know. heh. i thought it was a test to see which ones of us would eat the wrong pills and they'd go around checking people's pants to see who didn't know what the superior new drug looked like.
i just discovered www.roadsideamerica.com
which tells you all the sophisticated tourist attractions in america. right now they have "the colossal colon" where you can crawl inside and look at all the internal hemorrhoids. and they have "bayou bob's rattlesnake ranch" where a man picks up rattlesnakes and waves them at you.
| mando | 7:13 AM
Thursday, April 03, 2003
yesterday me and gen went to jiayan's house to study. it is a long long trek from orchard mrt to jiayan's house. luckily there were no people walking around to make me stop breathing. then we studied for awhile while wondering if dragons in the catholic bible were the same as dinosaurs (ie : talking rubbish). and gen and jiayan decided to go out for a jog. and then it started raining. so we all did crunches in the garden with people driving by in cars reaching for their phones to dial the number for the mental hospital. actually after all the times i threatened to call the mental hospital people to arrest all my small relatives when we were younger i should know what the mental hospital number is but i don't. that number has the be the most-wanted but least-known number in the country. then after that we watched american idol and watched rickey smith take off his afro and fling it across the stage. and i spent the rest of his performance looking at the big ball of hair just lying there. how many times do you see a big ball of hair lying on a stage on live tv? he's a groundshaker, this rickey smith. then after nobody got eliminated on american idol, we all went out to eat dessert at nydc and got fat. the waiter came with our "B-three" cake. it's B-cube, not B-three! the waiter is so unhip. then me and jiayan decided to practice our "brudda" handshakes. we have mastered the "mat-shake", the "american idol manlymen shake", and "the LA shake". we're such pros.
| mando | 7:08 PM
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
i was reading backlogs of jenny's blog
and realised that before she got her sweet little pug dog named oscar, she had a sweet little lop-eared rabbit named ernie. and before she got her sweet little lop-eared rabbit named ernie, she had a little hamster named petunia. so my plan of getting a hamster and working my way up to a large animal who won't chew holes into my hands will eventually work!
i went for a jog yesterday and almost fainted when i got home because every time i passed someone who was coughing or looked sick i had to hold my breath. if i die now i'll probably die from suffocation, not sars. or maybe its because i'm too unfit. all my muscles are screaming at me. "heelp! we're disappearing! we're going to beee nothinggne-" when will we be able to get back to this state?
| mando | 7:14 PM