Thursday, July 31, 2003
as if having deteriorating eyesight wasn't enough, i just discovered that i have an ingrowing eyelash in my left eye. so now, not only does my body feel compelled to lengthen my eyeballs to the point that i can't read the biology lecture off the board, it also feels the need to poke me in the eye.

tomorrow ghim is going to reconstruct his shoulder! hope it'll be a good operation! and despite whatever he thinks, it's pretty much impossible to leave a scalpel in your shoulder. good luck ghim! it's always nice to have an operation on nurses' day. has got a kid's sleepover survival kit! it includes: Jump rope, party punch mix, hair wrap kit, microwave popcorn, friendship pins kit, pillowcase and marker. adult's sleepover survival kit also available but with completely different contents.

but my favourite is the toddler t shirt with chinese fortune cookie fortunes on them.

| mando | 7:56 AM


Wednesday, July 30, 2003
i realised that even while squinting so hard that my eyes wind themselves around their optic nerve a couple of times, i can't see anything that goes on on the lecture theatre screen. i either need contact lenses, or to be less vain so i can walk around looking idiotic in my glasses. i am not looking forward to jabbing a slice of glass into my eye. unless its yellow and has a black slitty shape in the middle so i can look like a big hairless cat!

ghim said he felt lost today without going for training. he's been at it six years, so that's gotta feel weird. i felt pretty lost too, even though i usually complain to myself about how hot it is and about the little men with hammers banging away in my head before training. i just felt a little lonely going home by myself so early. luckily the judo girls went to eat a sweaty lunch (hot day) at ghim moh before going home.

everyone's been prompted to do a lot of soul-searching and thinking lately. about life, death, and friendship. so far i've lived a pretty charmed life, and i've always thought that no matter how bleak everything seems, you'd always find something to live for. even if that something was nowhere near apparent at that point of time, you just had to keep running life's marathon and eventually that something would pop up. is that always true, and for everybody? or am i just horrendously lucky and always took it for granted? will it always be true or is it just that we haven't run for long enough to find out? am i even talking sense?

i don't have any right to preach about friendship, because i know that more than a few times, i haven't been there for people. i haven't made enough sacrifices for people to be worthy of the title of a "true friend". that's something that has to change. you don't know how ashamed i am to only be realising it now.

| mando | 8:22 AM


Monday, July 28, 2003
i couldn't be prouder to be part of a team who worked like hell for two years, and made it to the finals to compete against a team who has had four more years of training than we had, and actually made them sweat blood to get a win. i couldn't be happier to be part of a team who has trained under the most fantastic coaches there are, and who has the most fighting spirit in the world. to quote mr eng, we didn't lose the gold. we won the silver. and we won it with dignity.

i'm happy to say that although there wasn't much hope that i would win my match against the national team player from hwa chong, i tried my very best to make things as hella difficult for her as humanly possible, and i willed myself to fight my darndest and never give up the fight until the very last second ticked away. and i hope i did my coaches, my teammates, my school, God, my friends, and myself justice.

so thank you God, for answering the prayer that i made every saturday morning on the train for me to survive another training. for reminding me that the fight was not mine, but yours, and every match that i fought was for your glory. and for giving us all the courage and strength to get through not just the nationals, but the entire two years.

thank you mr tan and mr eng for being such inspiring figures. you don't know how happy i was every time you corrected my mistakes on the dojo, or said something encouraging. i have the utmost respect for both of you. thank you for telling us to turn to the left and tuck in our heads, and to endure endure endure! it was all worth it.

thank you caroline and luohan for being captain marvellouses and telling us to train hard and that we can do it! you all always worked the hardest and when i looked at you i always felt ashamed of slacking off! being a captain isn't a piece of cake and we all know that. you handled the task admirably you will always have my respect. even if one of you is a pedophile.

thank you huixian for being my partner and for enduring all the pain i caused you for two years. so sorry for giving you pains in the head, elbows and other assorted body parts! thanks for always pulling me up when i was too exhausted to stand, and for sacrificing your body parts to help me practice my lousy throws. we couldn't have gotten through speed throwing, leapfrogging, and piggybacking without each other. i'm so glad you were always there to go through all that crap with me. just keep swimming!

thank you caroline, huimin, huixian, mingli, xinyi, huiyi and pofun for being such cool teammates and friends! the reason i stuck with a sport where you get beat up twice a week was because people like you were there to get beat up with me. we sweated, bled, encouraged, pedophiled and burped our way through training. judo girls forever!

thank you ghim for always being there, for always being so positive and sunshiney, and for letting me throw you last year and trying very hard to bluff me by saying you didn't fall down on purpose. you're a lousy liar, but a great friend!

thank you so much to dehan, kianleong, dickson, jianyang, and yucai who missed bio practical just to come down and give us the support we needed. how touching is that? you dudes are wonderful.

no regrets about judo, which has taught me the importance of shoulders (important for reaching behind you to pick up a roll of toilet paper in the loo), necks, thumbs (crucial for pulling up your pants), ankles, toes, knees (handy for all kinds of things, including praying on), ribs, and bums (you can't sit down without 'em!). its been a tiring, painful journey, but what memorable journeys aren't tiring and painful?

| mando | 9:02 PM


Saturday, July 26, 2003
i can't believe it. nobody can believe it. we can keep telling ourselves that its true its true its true its true but it still won't seem like its anything else but a big huge horribly sick game of make believe.

i cannot stand it i cannot stand the thought that someone like you had to leave this way. if i had to not see you anymore i would have thought it was because we had drifted apart like most friends eventually do. did you wonder about the people who would cry their eyes out for you? did you wonder about the people who would have you in their heads every night before they go to sleep? did you know about the number of people you mattered to? the number of people who have gaping holes in their lives because you're not around anymore? you touched so many lives.. how could you not know? how can we walk around without thinking about you? how can we live life the way it used to be? what exactly has this changed? who has the right to answer all these questions?

i want to remember you the wonderful way you were. but the way you left keeps getting in the way. but i know you're with God now. i'm glad i prayed that prayer with you three years ago. i prayed the sinner's prayer with someone who has so few sins. i will never understand why it had to be you. life in heaven must be better than what you had on earth. nobody had the chance to say goodbye to you. but you weren't someone anyone would want to say goodbye to. you will always be with us. God bless you and heal your hurt and keep you safe in his kingdom.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
- Matthew 5:8

| mando | 7:24 AM


Thursday, July 24, 2003
yesterday a cheeky professor came to talk to us about medicine. i don't mind seeing people's bones poking out of their legs. i don't mind lugging dead bodies around as long as i'm not lugging them around all by myself in the middle of the night in a dark locked morgue. i don't even mind dribbling peroxide on a bunch of maggots on somebody's leg as long as the maggots don't jump up my nose or my various other orifices. i just think i would go insane and axe murder everybody in the hospital when i have to do my non-stop 36-hour on-call duty twice a week. i don't think brutally axe murdering a bunch of patients is a real good achievement for a doctor.

anyway jianbang just told me that rowan atkinson is playing voldemort in the fourth harry potter movie. mr bean is playing a cold blooded murdering evil dude. somehow i can't picture him screaming avada kedavra and then proceeding to stick his head into a turkey and put spectacles on his teddy with no eyes.

| mando | 7:52 AM


Tuesday, July 22, 2003
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall i fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall i be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

before i went to sleep yesterday night, i read this in the 40-day prayer booklet that i got at church. and then i realised, with such a powerful force on my side, who could ever freak me out? the judo girls are in the finals, along with the A boys, B boys and C boys! yeepee! we're going to fight hwa chong to the death! anyway thanks pauline for coming down to watch the tournament! and thanks to everybody who sent smsses to tell me to kill everybody! and humungous thanks to ghim who's always been so supportive and helpful and everything! this morning he transfused all his power into my gi! my magic gi is now in the wash. he also took really cool pictures of us looking terribly fierce.

i'm going to bed now with a sore throat from yelling too much.

| mando | 8:01 AM


Monday, July 21, 2003
tomorrow is the first round of the judo preliminaries for girls. all week long i've been asking god to give me and my teammates the strength and the alertness and the perseverance to win our matches, and to be with us as we fight, so nobody can touch us. for a long time now i've been going through throws in my mind instead of listening to physics. this year we have a fantastic girl's side who have worked their asses off from day one. we can do whatever the fantastic boys can do, which is work our way into finals. the only thing that will stop us from fighting our way into finals is if our opponents decide to hire a bunch of goons to throw us all in sacks in the middle of the night and ship us off to fiji. i hope i'm not giving anyone any ideas.

| mando | 4:22 AM


Sunday, July 20, 2003
today on gilmore girls, rory gets into harvard and lots of other colleges. if the idea of jumping into the television wasn't insane, if you turned on the tv next sunday at 6pm you would see me leaping into their front yard and asking her whether i could have a few of those envelopes. this college thing is really starting to bug me. maybe i could just become something that you don't need a college education for. like a guerilla soldier! but then nowadays the guerilla soldier recruiters would probably want to check if you have a degree from the che guevara university saying that you majored in hiding in jungles with guns.

anyway i have finally written down a study plan just crammed with fun-filled knowledgy goodness! i'm really looking forward to driving myself insane trying to keep to it. if you see me walking aimlessly in the corridors muttering to myself kindly ignore me.

| mando | 6:48 AM


Saturday, July 19, 2003
since my computer is not dead yet i can wish yucai a happy birthday! i hope he had a good birthday. yay now one more of us has gotten all old and mature! for his birthday i made him a stuffed toy action figure of his mongrel dog from his highly amusing mongrel dog saga. apparently his dog's current favourite pasttime is chewing up visitors, which is actually a huge improvement from what yucai used to say his ex-favourite pasttime was, which was chewing up yucai.

| mando | 8:26 AM


Thursday, July 17, 2003
my uncle just came over to try and kick some nasty virus butt. now i have to put up with the whuzzing of the computer the whole night while the virus-slaying programme runs after that stupid horse virus thing in my system. i hope you understand what i'm talking about despite the extremely complicated technical terms i have used to describe my computer problems to you.

today while studying at macdonalds i noticed a monk in the dessert shop opposite eating some ice kachang. i was checking out his monk shoes and going "hey, nice monk shoes." then i was checking out his monk robes then going "hey, nice monk robes." then i looked at his face and i realised he was a HOT MONK! at that point i was considering becoming a nun and joining the monastery. then i realised that he wasn't a hot monk at all, he was a hot actor! and he was the hot actor that i had a crush on when "ke jia zhi ge" was playing a long long time ago! i didn't get any work done for the time he was leisurely eating his ice kachang. then he smiled at me and i realised that i have to take a course on not conspicuously staring at people.

| mando | 9:14 AM


Wednesday, July 16, 2003
a virus has invaded my computer! it just decided to settle down inside my system and try to delete everything i own! so now to stop the cancer inside my computer from spreading, i cannot turn on my computer! this is disgusting! disgusting! the school computer takes so long to load and the keyboard is sticky! and i dont want to know why!

the other day i left my uniform on the canteen table and forgot to take it home. then when i came back it was gone. at first i had the exciting thought i would have to go naked 2 days a week, but then today my uniform decided to come back to me because i found it in a pile of clothes on a table in the canteen.

and happy birthday to jasper who is now 18! what a big boy. i think he's going to grow taller soon! i made him a big eyed octupus with four arms. if it has four arms it's probably called a quatopus. and because my computer is probably going to die and stay dead for a long time, i have to wish yucai happy birthday too! he turns 18 on saturday!

| mando | 11:30 PM


Tuesday, July 15, 2003
yesterday we messed around with E. coli bacteria in the lab and everyone started squirting E. coli contaminated water onto everyone else! after that, i find out from mingli that E. coli causes explosive diarrhoea! explosive! since all 13 triple science classes are messing around with E. coli this week, i expect a severe shortage of toilet paper in the next five days.

thanks to the harry potter quiz on dehan's page, i now know that i kick dark ass really well!

dark arts
You excel at Defense Against the Dark Arts. Which
is really good because who knows when you'll
run into that disgruntle troll or banshee going
through menopause.

Which Class at Hogwarts Would You Excel at?
brought to you by Quizilla

| mando | 6:31 AM


Saturday, July 12, 2003
congratulations to caroline who got a silver for individual middleweight judo! we're mondo proud of you! whoohoo! i think one whoohoo isn't enough. let's have another whoohoo! whoohoo!!!

anyway i kinda like the thought of wearing crocheted pointy ears on your head. but i really draw the line at the eggplant hat. why i would want to look like a crappy tasting vegetable is beyond me.

| mando | 8:42 PM


Friday, July 11, 2003
today i met my long lost friend pauline after 2 years of not seeing each other! we went to watch cameron diaz and lucy liu and drew barrymore run around while giggling and slapping each other's butts. we talked about the days when we were the head of props and costumes in chinese drama in secondary school and i watched her make a couple of big boulders and she helped me spray paint gigantic flower heads. those were the days! we'll probably still be talking about that when we're doddering old grandparents cleaning out our denture glasses together.

| mando | 6:40 AM


Thursday, July 10, 2003
we had a guy talk to us about american colleges today. i learned that if i move to laos and become a citizen there, i can get into any college in america! that is the most realistic plan i have ever heard. i wonder why i'm not jetting my ass off to laos right this minute! maybe its because i'm too busy trying to think of the best position in which to prostrate myself in front of the ivy league interviewers to persuade them that i am so right for their school.

and today me and xingning ran into our old chemistry teacher mr david leong tai wei! he's a nice guy who abandoned us in the middle of our first year to go and make heart muscle cells out of a bunch of fat cells. it's more complicated than it sounds. i kind of miss him. he was a nice funny teacher guy. i wonder if he'd write a letter of recommendation for me since i tried so hard to pretend to understand his explanation about his fat cell to heart muscle cell theory!

| mando | 6:48 AM


Wednesday, July 09, 2003
today we talked about where we were going to university. even though i've never had the burning desire to scoop organs out of people, i always assumed that i would go to medical school. this is mainly because being the intelligent kid that i am, i only know the 4 major occupations : doctor lawyer banker robber. i hate thinking about my future. a very wise song once said "don't worry about the future. especially if it looks like you're not going to have one." what inspiring lyrics! i don't think i should have to think about my future until i'm old enough to smoke and drive and watch R-rated movies. and wear adult diapers.

anyway i just realised that before she left, my old maid decided for the second time that my wallet was too heavy and decided to do me a great big fat disgusting evil horrible favour of lightening it by stealing over a hundred dollars from me. that's just not nice!

| mando | 7:07 AM


Tuesday, July 08, 2003
today i learned that there is a big difference between 8/7/2003 and 7/8/2003 because gen's birthday is not on the first one. today, which of course is gen's official un-birthday, i gave her her present which has been sitting in my present box since chinese new year and wished her a big happy birthday! then she stared at me. due to extreme stupidity, gen is not going to be getting her present on her proper birthday. anyway, i hope you had a happy un-birthday, gen!

we saw our class photo today. on it was a little note that said that unfortunately our negatives of our informal shot have been corrupted and they are very sorry. they also hope that they will have another opportunity to capture our joyous moments! if they're the kind of people who let their negatives get all corrupted like that i'm certainly not letting them capture any kind of joyous moments from me!

| mando | 6:46 AM


Monday, July 07, 2003
today i went shopping with my mom hoping that she would pay for everything because my wallet is hungry. she was very nice about paying for everything. unfortunately everything didn't include a pair of very nice 89 dollar silk pants. i felt bad about wanting to buy the silk pants too because i could feed myself for a month and a half with the pair of silk pants. i am now coveting the silk pants! mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine! man! and here i thought i was over the gimme-gimmies! and when i was in zara, gen decided to pop out from nowhere and scare me and show me her operation scar! cool beans!

japanese people like to put faces on everything. while my mom was picking out a new set of tupperware, i saw a hamster-shaped kitchen sponge smiling at me.

| mando | 5:40 AM


Saturday, July 05, 2003
reading harry potter while standing up on the mrt gives you a terrible backache. it should have its own harness so you can strap it to your neck while you read so you don't have to hold it up so long. but then you would have a terrible neckache.

anyway i yesterday i saw the kuri kuri stall outside scotts yesterday and they have the cutest little cards! if you go to their site little chestnuts with faces on them jump up and go "hiyaah!!" when you roll your cursor over them. what slick marketing gimmicks. how did they know that everyone likes chestnuts with faces that jump up and make cute little violent noises?

| mando | 4:44 AM


Friday, July 04, 2003
today common tests are over! which is a good thing because i have reached the end of my rope. i need some more rope. yesterday me and xingning were at starbucks from 4 in the afternoon and we filled our heads with chemistry until 11 at night. then i heard the starbucks dude tell someone they were closed. so i decided to say bye bye. but the perks of being a regular customer and saying hello to the starbucks dude is that the nice starbucks dude lets you stay until midnight to study. its frightening that the starbucks people know who we are. hopefully we're the 'girls who study here a lot' and not 'those parasites who buy a cup of coffee and won't ever leave'.

today we we all went to visit gen who just had a laparoscopy to take out an ovarian cyst and also her appendix because when you're drilling a hole in your stomach you should probably remove all the spare parts for one price. she showed us gross pictures of her insides and showed us shots of her little rotten looking appendix. she said she hopes she gets her spare parts back when they come back from the lab. they'd be a good conversation piece at parties i suppose. "here is that coconut carving i bought when i was over in bali. really great. and over here on the mantle is a little burned off piece of what used to be attached to my intestines!" she will be up and kicking again on monday! get well soon gen!

then we went to orchard to walk around and me and jiayan went to get our eyebrows tweezed! after a brief moment of pain jiayan now looks very sexy! and i went with the boys to isetan to poke a bunch of soft pillows. the boys had lots of fun caressing the cushions!

| mando | 6:47 AM


Wednesday, July 02, 2003
i am pooped after three hours of doing maths. for three hours my synapses were all synapsing at the fastest rate they could ever synapse and still i don't think i'll get more than a D.

anyway yesterday i thought, hey i should probably watch that tape of friends that i taped on monday and see how unfunny they've been getting. all of them have gotten really old. in joey and phoebe's case i think it's actually possible to tell their chronological age by the number of rings they have around their eyes. and chandler and monica look strange and manic when they smile because they changed their teeth since they started the show. maybe they're the kind that come out at night since they're so old. and since chandler got married he's starting to act like an old fart who likes to talk about the rising costs of insurance all day. and everyone likes to talk boring talk about their relationships and not about how happy they are that they have free porn. i miss the old friends! bring back chandler's teeth dammit! and while you're at it bring back ross's sanity too!

| mando | 10:46 PM


Tuesday, July 01, 2003
failing biology and physics was a whole load of fun! just packed with hilarity! my favourite part was when i didn't know what to write and so i had to make something up! hee hee hee! isn't that just smack your leg, break your neck, slit your throat fantastic? now i can tell my grandchildren "yeah i made some As once. but then they all went away. now hand me my dentures."

| mando | 7:22 PM


daniel the yoda
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judo girls
nat koh
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qiumei the bunny
ruxin the penguin
victor tan
zhongyang the sheep

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