Friday, November 25, 2005
The exams are over! we are filled with an ear-prickling, nose-tickling sensation of intense joy and anticipation of studying for the next exam in the neverending chain of papers designed to twist your brain around painfully like a squishy grey rubix cube.

after the exams on friday, we took off to the wild and wonderful holiday destination of Chia Soon Kelong, located at 1 South China Sea! the whole trip was impeccably coordinated by our very own tauhuay teo renjun, expert fisherboy, mooncake maker, and all-round champion auntie killer. having no fishing rods, zhongyang and i scurried down to a fishing shop near the jetty to pick up a pair of state-of-the-art, perfectly crafted, fantastically flawless fishing spools. the kind that costs $2.50 and consists of a length of fishing line wound around a red plastic spool. we kept telling everyone that it was what our great-grandparents used to fish with in the old days and that they probably caught scores of strong, fresh fish with it for their ravenous families, and that it was a great privilege to catch fish with an instrument that was part of such a rich heritage, but everyone said we wouldn't catch anything. the fact that they were right does nothing to undermine the beauty of the simple old-school fishing spool.

as soon as we hopped aboard the boat, isaac and yauhong immediately jumped up on the roof, took off their shirts, and started exposing themselves to whoever else was floating around on the south china sea. soon there was nobody left inside the boat, and there were 11 vietnamese refugees contorted into optimal suntanning positions on top of it.

we got there and grabbed our bunks and waited for the other boat to arrive before we walked around watching the kelong workers prod around in the holding pens for Bobby the Big Garoupa who we were going to eat for dinner. one of the holding pens housed a big fat fish who swam around threateningly just below the surface looking like he could leap out and bite wayne's head off in one snap of his jaws.

the boys started threading up their fishing rods, and zhongyang and i proudly pulled out our fishing spools and stuck a tiny fish on the end, lowered it into the water, pulled them up again sans bait, and repeated the cycle until we got tired of it and went off to eat the big dinner that the kelong uncles cooked for us. zhongyang was trying to tempt a garfish with his little fish on a hook, at which the garfish happily obliged and plucked the little fish off the hook and calmly wriggled away with the fish clamped in his beak. zhongyang was not at all happy that he had just managed to feed an entire garfish family of four. jirong turned up in the middle of dinner holding the first catch of the day, a formidable looking struggling baby shark.

after dinner, toh han and i took lessons from the Teo Ren Jun Academy of Fishery and Fine Arts in casting a line, which turned out to be surprisingly addictive. we cast lines over and over like professional fisherwomen, disturbing all the fish within a 10 metre radius of the kelong, but never managed to catch anything.

everyone ambled around on the kelong and had a good time eating and catching up on some R&R after the long three weeks of exams. there was a midnight barbeque with stingray and chicken drumsticks (chicken of the sea, jessica simpson style!), singing karaoke with songs from my great GrandSecondUncleTwiceRemoved's time, mahjong, and the activity known as trying desperately to catch a fish before you left the kelong. yingen became the first and only girl among us to catch a fish! isaac almost got speared in the foot by a vicious catfish and now his slipper leaks whenever it rains.

it was a good chance to get away from the mainland and out into the ocean where the water quality is dubious and the hygiene of the delicious dishes set on your table is in serious question, and it was really fun because of the great company! more power to uncle chia soon, who cooks the best garlic prawns this side of malaysia!

more posts coming up about lynn's birthday amazing race, and A Twist of Fate!



| mando | 6:23 PM

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Saturday, November 12, 2005
i was reading the foodblogs, as i am wont to do because i enjoy simple pleasures in life such as having a thin trail of drool make its way down the corner of your mouth and onto your keyboard. i was reading the very good foodblog of one who admits that his spouse is blessed with a great deal of insulation, who was writing about something called Wagyu steak, otherwise known as Kobe beef, which is the kind of beef that is so tender that you can slice it fourteen different ways just by blinking at it. it's so expensive because it has more thin spidery lines of fat running all over the meat than wrinkles on all the old ladies in the Cheshire Home for the Aged put together. carefully easing my mouse past the puddle of saliva next to my laptop, i clicked on the price list. A Pure Wagyu Striploin costs, per kilo of juicy goodness, S$325. it pains me to know that, kilo for kilo, a Wagyu cow is worth more than me. but then again, unlike Bessie Wagyu and Daffodil Wagyu, i don't get my head lopped off before my flanks start to sag, and i don't have my rump shipped to a different state from my ribs. this is of course provided that i do not birth forth very very evil children.

So many musicals are coming to town! well not many. just two. me and my mom are going to watch laura michelle kelly immerse herself in all things peranakan in A Twist of Fate, and i'm going to watch Rent which regrettably stars karen mok. i guess the producers feel that sticking a west end actress into a local production and an asian in a broadway production makes for instantly elevated ticket sales. i'm not complaining about the first one because laura michelle kelly has a fantastic voice. adrian "the fake ah beng" pang finally gets to do a project away from his day job. finally a show that doesn't involve stuffing his mug into a camera after slurping down a particularly hot bowl of laksa and generating facial expressions that look like a demonic force is pulling his cheeks apart.

katie holmes popped up in 8days this week looking monstrously pregnant! it's a wonder that tom cruise isn't measuring the growing girth of her stomach every day and proceeding to jump on and destroy every sofa set in the local ikea in a euphoric fit.

thus concludeth my random, pointless non-thoughts for this week that floated through my skull in between reading all about drugs with impossibly long names, and eating crackers and bovril. if you thought that bovril was gone forever because of mad cow disease, think again! i was at the supermarket looking for tasty snacks, when i saw a row of bovril lined up on the shelves. and being a person who can never pass up a chance to sue someone else, i picked it up and looked at the ingredients, and behold! i was holding a jar of prion-free bovril! i think they make it out of yeast extract like vegemite now, but juice squeezed out of yeast is still surprisingly tasty on a whole wheat cracker.



| mando | 8:45 PM

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Saturday, November 05, 2005
we just had our immunology and microB papers yesterday morning. yesterday morning was the day i was mentally violated by five sheets of paper and an OAS form. the only thing i knew about the Nipah virus was that it sounds like a hokkien curse word and you get it from hanging out all day with pigs. but the day righted itself after that with a frenzied spate of productive shopping with one of my favourite shopping buddies, lynnypoo, and a wonderful dinner after which i walked around with my stomach sticking out a mile. it is a very satisfying feeling to walk around with your stomach sticking out a mile. i think if i ever get pregnant i'll be spewing endorphins left right and centre in my second trimester.

while shopping at MAC, i came to the conclusion that it is very depressing that there are boys who know how to put on makeup better than you do. nobody ever taught me how to put on makeup because all my mom wears is lipstick and pressed powder. rgs tried to teach us how to be ladies in sec1 when we had a personal grooming course. the course was pretty ineffective because i think girls need a little more than "this is lipstick. it goes on your lips. this is eyeshadow. it goes on your eyes. by the way, it's pronounced 'shee sayy dohh'. say it with me girls!" they made us stumble up and down the indoor gym in our mothers' heels just so professionally-trained women could walk up to you and give you useful professional advice such as, "you walk like a duck. don't walk like a duck anymore." that was my personal tutorial on how to be a lady. i'm out of puberty and still walk like a waterfowl. so much for the power of estrogen. anyway the makeup dude at MAC was fantastically nice, helpful and informative, all while wearing an entire pot of electric blue eyeshadow. he showed lynn how to use the contents of her brand new eyeshadow kit, and taught me how to put on eyeliner so i don't wind up looking like i have some sort of chromosomal disorder. anyway lynn has discovered a valuable truth about girls : girls are suckers. treat them nice enough and they'll buy anything from you. the fact that lynn and me walked away from the MAC counter $68 poorer and feeling as satisfied as if we'd bought ourselves a whole indonesian island is proof. vacuum cleaner and non-stick kwali promoters, take note.


My blog is worth $11,290.80.
How much is your blog worth?



whaddaya know? my blog is worth some money! if i cashed in this URL, i could buy myself about one fifth of a car! the real question is, if i were to buy myself one fifth of a car, which fifth would i buy? probably the wheels and the engine, which i would then attach to something large and heavy, like my dining table, and chug around town while steering with the lazy susan and attracting what i hope to be envious stares from the general public. these are the thoughts you think while on page 15 of 5 million of your pathology textbook, which you've been at for the past half hour.



| mando | 4:25 AM

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