Tuesday, August 30, 2005
the weekend has been exhausting! on friday, our dean prof wong and his wife graciously opened his house to the cast and crew of Operation Theatre and served us a mountain of food! he hired girls to make kueh pie ti for us, converted his bird bath into a gigantic cooler, and let us mess around with his piano, and his pool and ping pong tables. his house is ginormous and very beautifully and tastefully designed. i am now scratching "be president" off my list of things to do before i die and replacing it with "be the dean of medicine". we all had a good time catching up and stuffing ourselves and howen played us some tunes on the piano and eventually it became just us singing songs from the musical again and doing funny dance steps in a haze of dessert wine. many thanks to prof wong for a fantastic friday night!
saturday was dinner and dance at the Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel. this year's dinner and dance kicked the asses of every single formal function i have ever been to! kudos (what on earth is a kudo? is it like a funnily shaped imaginary award you give out to people? why has nobody ever given me a kudo so that i would know what it looked like? thoughts that deserve more reflection when i am in quiet solitude.) to the organising committee, who really outdid themselves with the planning and the inspired theme of FLASH, which got everyone excited about dressing up in absurd outfits to photowhore in! absolute genius! more power to you guys. i don't know how the next dnd committee is going to top this one, but i hope they at least achieve as much so that we can spend the next three years of our lives having good excuses to eat a lot and take pictures!
i was going as audrey hepburn, so i got my hair put up at vivien's in the morning before going for rehearsal for the item i was doing with howen. vivien was most amused that i was dressing up like a movie star and enthusiastically proceeded to slather half a can of hairspray on my head and stick bobby pins and tiaras into my bun as if my cranium was a pincushion. she did an amazing job just by looking at a smudgy printout of audrey hepburn that i handed her. i would have kowtowed, but i was afraid the croissant on the back of my head would come loose.
after that i headed to the hotel for rehearsal. while waiting by the road for a cab and while walking around the hotel lobby, i saw lots of people trying not to look at the psychotic girl walking around in public with half a beehive and a tiara pretending to be queen elizabeth and experiencing delusions of grandeur. after the rehearsal and watching the organising committee scurry around getting everything in order for the big night. i cabbed down to liana's house where lynn, liana and i spent the usual amount of time girls spend getting ready (seven and a half hours, give or take a few minutes). liana drove the girls and howen down to the hotel, and may i just say that it is the best feeling in the world to have an amazingly sexy Lara Croft complete with a pair of big guns (i know what word you were hoping to come after the word big. get your minds out of the gutter, boys and girls.) drive us through rush hour traffic, with a stunning Cleopatra sitting regally in the passenger seat. howen wanted to wear a regular smart suit, so he went to the dinner as audrey hepburn's husband. the things we do to save money.
you can read the other dudes recaps of the entire night, but the nicest part of the night was that our table won best dressed! we had zhongyang as harry potter complete with hedwig perched on his shoulder, dehan as a fingerpointing afroman from forever fever, lynn as a cat-eyed cleopatra, liana as a gunwielding lara croft complete with overstuffed bra, isaac as a nunchucks-brandishing bruce lee, yauhong as rambo with a rifle that made screaming noises, dickson as tarzan wearing a seductive thigh-high leopardskin toga dress, dan the man as chewbacca who obligingly made the chewbacca sound effects for us all night, weisheng as underwear-outside robin, and shawn the star of the night as krusty the clown! when dr vivian balakrishnan came over to judge our table, all of us leapt up and started dancing around and krusty started doing what resembled a russian dance and hooting his honker! our all-star ensemble won a chocolate hamper and we all charged forward to take a picture with dr vivian and take shameless advantage of our one moment of fame.
dr vivian balakrishnan and all of us looking like we got jumped by the costumes in the Universal Studios changing room
mark as peter pan and victor as tinkleballs!
possibly the most tittilating tribal maidens ever, nat jean and denise! and dennis, an m1 i just met, as a large cuddly crocodile. dressing up as a large stuffed alligator really helps to get the ladies.
bruce lee contemplating the meaning of life and the satisfaction one gets from beating up bad guys over tea; goth girls michelle and amelia giving their come-hither looks; me and harry with more goth girls kailyn, amanda and jenica, me and lynnopatra resplendent in funny headgear!
what a night! and on monday morning, krusty and chewbacca made a surprise reappearance halfway through cofm lecture! i saw a frighteningly large clown head come in through the double doors and start doing the funky chicken dance and honking his horn, and simultaneously, a furry wookie burst in through the doors on the other side of the LT and started prancing around in front of Dr Mabel Yap! the two freaks of nature proceeded to run around the entire LT jumping and dancing and shaking hands with people and spraying liana with the watergun before fleeing the LT to rapturous applause from everyone!
the amazing antics of isaac and yauhong are viewable here!
yingen managed to stop laughing long enough to take this video. i learnt a lot during that cofm lecture.
on sunday i went to watch my first WOMAD! i had an awesome time dancing with the crazy expats and watching the crowd favourites, le yeux noirs and the dohl foundation perform. i was deliberating whether or not to buy the dohl foundation's album, and what finally did it for me was the title of track 14 : dohl dark and handsome! gyrating to the rhythmns of turbaned men in tank tops was the perfect way to round off a busy weekend and to leave me on monday looking like i'd just been run over by a herd of rampaging elephants.
next up : caroline's surprise 20years+1month birthday celebration!
| mando | 8:23 AM
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
school has been enormously busy! and yet i have learnt almost nothing. ahh the benefits a modern college education hold for the attention deficit. i remember last year we ended nearly every day at noontime and hung around in the canteen for hours deciding what to do with the rest of our day, where we regularly came to the verdict of sleep, if tired, and study, if guilty. this year, i don't know what happened to those lovely hours that i spent fretting over not having anything to do and contemplating whether to take up a course in orangutan training just to keep myself occupied, but i sure would like them back!
but even though the person in charge of timetabling for m2 obviously has a five year subscription to Sadists Weekly, school has been good this year so far. the subjects we're taking are a little more interesting than last year's, and we have good lecturers like Prof Mark Taylor who pretend to die violently from poisoning before he starts teaching (i think Toastmasters should specify somewhere that it is a prerequisite that every good public speaker should learn how to feign violent deaths from poisoning.) it is nice to be back at school eating apom baliks with lynn and wayne in the canteen, and watching power palms zhongyang play bishybashy, and trying to stop carol from vandalising my notes during lecture, and thinking of things to do for playhouse with joanna nat jean and denise and laughing until apple juice comes out of my nose in the creative process.
on saturday evening a bunch of OT people got together at elaine's house to play pool and mahjong and powerpuff monopoly, because no weekend is complete without powerpuff monopoly! christine turned 22 (happy birthday christine!) just as howen was contemplating whether to sell Mojo Jojo's Lair to elaine, and we all helped her eat her cake and cared and shared the calories! eugene showed us more of his amazing card tricks that he uses to impress either hot girls or the little sick kids in pediatrics, and ian showed us his one amazing card trick that makes girls want to whack him, and maestro howen played the piano for us and made us all melt into little puddles on the floor that sang along to 'Autumn Leaves' and 'Girl From Ipanema'.
this saturday is the medicine Dinner no Dance at Grand Copthorne Waterfront. our table's going as 'random things from the movies'. isaac wants to be bruce lee, lynn wants to be princess amidala, and we're trying to convince zhongyang to be yoda but he refuses to paint his face with camo cream and talk with bad grammar all night. but i'm sure we'll crack him sooner or later! when i told yauhong that we were going as movie stars, he wanted to go as a porn movie star, because he has no money to buy new clothes. if you're going, be sure to watch howen tickle the keyboard and work his music mojo! be sure to be a considerate citizen and catch any fainting girls or fainting sensitive-type boys during his improv piece.
| mando | 5:11 AM
Monday, August 15, 2005
i lost my wallet today! and two hours of running around like a headless chicken, making phone calls, harassing toilet aunties and security uncles, and making a large variety of "aargh" noises, the security uncle called me to say that my wallet had been found again! praise God! oh sweet wallet. you came back to me! you're like lassie! unfortunately it was found on top of a fire hosereel completely devoid of cash (dehan had to choose today to give out extra MUNUS money like he was president of Financial Aid), but it had all my cards in it. i am now an even more impoverished student than i normally am, and all of you are strongly encouraged to give generously to the "save amanda from potential starvation and misery" fund. i will not be angry with the woman who stole my money, because it is without a doubt that all the food that she buys with my $150 is going to give her inconvenient bowel movements and that all the clothes that she buys with my $150 are going to look so last season on her and that any haircuts she gets with my $150 are going to make her look like she's wearing a wookie on top of her head. knowing this, i can be calm, peaceful, and zen while at the same time being childishly vindictive. anyway thank you michelle kangqi stella and ian for cheering me up and helping me find it! it is almost worth losing money to know that you have good friends. almost.
| mando | 7:01 AM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
from the beginning of time, various people have been coming up to me and asking why i look so sad. it never occurred to me that my default expression looked sad, because normally inside i am overwhelmed by sensations of euphoric bliss! so all the people whose fingers have been poised to dial the suicide hotline, i am ferpectly fine. i know i look pensive and have my brows knit in an expression of deep thought. this is because my mind is unceasingly filled with noble thoughts of saving the endangered ikan bilis species that roam our oceans, or the building of new homes for cave-dwelling terrorists, or eating nothing but smoked salmon for dinner for the next few days. if i was really troubled, you would find me perched on the edge of a HDB rooftop taking a beginner's course in tap dancing. but thank you for caring!
the other day at ikea while i was buying more useless things for my room, i saw a sign on the door of one of the toilet cubicles in stick-on plastic letters that read "child eat available inside". i don't know what children are eating nowadays, but it sure sounds like they've grown out of those teething rusks.
rag and flag was last saturday, and our float was a magnificent work of art! hooray for the float people who sat outside the library day and night eviscerating tin cans and stitching giant heads of corn together. and hooray for lynn, liana, qingyuan and amelia who choreographed the best dance ever. you could see all their individual styles and strengths in the choreography, and it was really brilliant. the dancers were awesome. the basket toss really scared me. those tricksy hobbitses were dancing calmly like nothing was amiss, and suddenly some skinny girl shoots up into the air like a kernel of popcorn and scares the internal organs out of me! the whole thing was really amazing to watch.
majulah singapura day was yesterday, and i had a nice restful day at home with my family and we stuffed ourselves silly with roast lamb and pasta while we watched the ministers do their funky dance with the plastic singapore flags on tv. i was looking for shawn, who was supposed to be driving one of the tanks and who promised to wave, but i didn't see him. i was looking out for the muzzle of the tank moving back and forth in greeting but i didn't see any either. all the guys poking their heads out of the tanks looked like they'd held still for about six months and let moss grow all over them before they came for the parade, so i didn't see the tall ting anywhere.
| mando | 4:40 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
the yum cha maidens at dim sum dollies, me and hossan leong in his big pimpin' outfit, lynn and hossan leong, lynn me and the fabulous tua paos of the dim sum dollies! we almost got our heads skewered/experienced unexpected tracheostomies while bending over the dollies' sharp headgear to take the picture.
| mando | 10:32 AM
me and carol eating a mango smooshie, healthy foods at rag and flag (denise is the most tasty cabbage the world has ever known), french kissing, amanda and evil amanda
| mando | 10:29 AM
Saturday, August 06, 2005
before the long and winding thank you post, i will give you all a few days to run out and buy tissues and for now i will just answer the three inane things about self quiz from nat
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Amanda (to people who aren't lazy enough to spit out three lousy syllables)
2. Manny (courtesy of wayne yap never give up)
3. Mandy (to family. or Mangy, to my hakka grandmother who refuses to pronounce my name in a manner decent to human ears)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
3. midget tranny (or my official tranny name, Tittsy Flumpkins the Midget Queen of
the Mountains. courtesy of chen seong who evidently has nothing better to do with himself other than lie by the poolside making up bapok names for everyone!)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. pointy chin
2. little wrists
3. terribly attractive big toenails
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. heavy legs (still hoping that it's just chronic water retention)
2. crooked bottom teeth that interfere with me closing my mouth properly
3. my little toenails that pale in comparison to the radiant beauty of my big toenails
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. thriftiness (i am a stingy yellow animal)
2. yong tau foo
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. how the mongolian children from cirque du soleil appear to have no bones in their bodies whatsoever.
2. ear hair
3. how the fruit juice aunties appear to handle the money and the slices of papaya in the same gloved hand.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
2. water bottle
3. ipod containing vast amounts of josh groban
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
2. my subversive "monkey humping a football" teeshirt
3. boxer shorts with dancing girls on them
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. josh groban
2. michael ball
3. rachael yamagata
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Champagne Supernova - Oasis
2. Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata
3. The Impossible Dream - Luther Vandross
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i dance around in my room alone at night singing showtunes to myself
2. i hope that nobody sees me dancing around my room alone at night singing showtunes to myself
3. in my mid-teens, i was briefly married to michael jackson and had his baby and gave it up for adoption while i was still whacked out on the epidural. i have no conception of what colour our offspring could possibly be.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. strong arms (for increased huggability)
2. a great smile (for the wedding photos)
3. big dark eyes
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. making lists of celebrities i wish to smooch and eating massive amounts of chocolate to come to terms with the fact that i will never be able to smooch them
2. singing to inanimate objects and pretending that they are rabid fans who toss their underwear at me
3. Shopping. (girl what.)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. put my arms around adam brody completely unhampered by pesky restraining orders
2. sing and dance and generally make fool of self on jubilee hall stage
3. lie on the banks of the seine in a bikini, sunglasses, and the body of sienna miller while eating a baguette and having a deep and meaningful conversation with a poodle.
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. tour guide (the little red flags on a long stick didn't suit me)
2. broadway baby (realisation that am abysmal dancer came to me before i decided to live like a hobo on the streets of new york)
3. loh kun
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. New York (see every show on broadway, watch saturday night live, and take a picture with the naked cowboy and steal his tighty-whities)
2. South Africa (get hand bitten off by wild leopard)
3. Italy (make vulgar hand actions at random people and run for life)
THREE KID’S NAMES YOU LIKE:
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. change a life (in a good way, not in a turn-someone-into-a-drug-addict way.)
2. fulfil the purpose for which God put me on this earth (hopefully this turns out to be either marrying adam brody, or being a sequin-spangled trapeeze artist, because those are the two most fun things i can think of at the moment.)
3. make the people around me happy with life and with themselves, as they all should be.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i would wear the same pants three days in a row if people didn't run away from the fumes.
2. if i fart in public, i admit it, loudly and proudly.
3. i prefer to use humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations (such as when i fart in public.)
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I like to have accessories to match every outfit
2. I think that babies are very munchable creatures
3. I have no sense of direction whatsoever
THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Josh Groban
2. Adam Brody
3. Johnny Depp
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Lynn the gummybear
| mando | 9:38 AM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Operation Theatre photos are up! have a lookie
| mando | 4:03 AM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
the curtains are down, the music has been turned down, the lights are turned off, the makeup has been wiped away or cried off, the costumes are hung up and put away, the props have been converted into large piles of plank and sawdust. the audience has filed out of the theatre waving big yellow booklets, and the scary mop-wielding cleaner auntie has chased us out of the dressing rooms never to darken her door again.
that said, Operation Theatre has possibly been one of the best experiences i've ever had in my life. the day i went for auditions in that little seminar room was the start of the most fun and rewarding holiday of my entire life. rehearsals were always something i really really looked forward to, because of the amazing people who were at the rehearsals and who always made it fun and who always made the effort to get to know me despite the painfully shy person i am around new people.
Opening night didn't go as well as we hoped, to say the least. i made a big giant screw up which everyone was nice enough to tell me didn't matter (thank you chens, eugene, ian, shangyee, andrew), a few lines were forgotten, there were a couple of technical difficulties. but i went home feeling less demoralised than i would have thought, because we still had 4 shows and i just knew that we would learn from opening night and the next 4 shows would just be so good. ivan's line for tonight : if you were a chicken i'd have you made into a featherduster!
the next day we went to get our makeup done at Tamaris school of makeup as usual and came back for our first real show. it made so much of a difference that the hall was packed, and it was packed with a really great audience who clapped and laughed and made noise at the right bits (and some of the wrong bits, but that was good too!)! i could feel my heart lifting from the first bellow of laughter from the crowd and from then until the end of the show it was flitting around my head in ecstatic circles. it also really helped to have people in the audience who you could focus on making inappropriate faces at. thanks michelle yingen amelia dennis and moira for the lovely chocolates! (you all are pure evil. know i cannot eat chocolates until sunday night purposely give me so i stare at them for two days drooling large amounts of drool all over my table.) and thanks to my lovely judogirls for coming to support and make me almost laugh onstage and for the practical presents (throat lozenges!) my third aunt and cousin jethro also came to support! thanks for taking the time to come, especially to jet who has practically no time for himself at all. ivan's line for the afternoon : if you were rubber i'd have you made into a condom!
we went back to Tamaris for a touchup (on another note, chenseong thinks that i really look like a tiny tranny in stage makeup and has christened me with the long and complicated tranny name of Tittsy Flumpkins the Midget Queen of the Mountains! so everyone is supposed to call him by HIS tranny name Maribel Shinshinella Franco, the Sock Maiden. why he is a sock maiden is still a thing of mystery. or not, if you have your mind in the gutter.)
that night was gala night, and the hall was full of professors and doctors and our health minister Dr Khaw Boon Wan and our dean Prof John Wong and his wife. it just blows my mind that these people actually came to see us perform. it just blows my mind. i'm really sad that Dr. Vivian Balakrishnan couldn't make it down though. we were quite encouraged by the expected tame response from our respected elders, because it was a response nonetheless. i could see Prof Wong smiling throughout the entire show, even though i was trying my darndest to make him cry during the sad songs he refused to cave. one day, Prof, one day. i was really pleasantly surprised when one of the audience members shook my hand and said "you sing very well! are you sure you want to be a doctor?" and another very sweet lady shook my hand outside the theatre and asked me if i sang anywhere else (i told her about my private concerts in my bathroom), and not to waste my voice. it's nice to be young. people are so encouraging, and forgiving. ivan's line for the night : if you were a bear i'd have you made into a rug!
sunday was our last day, and you could practically see people like eugene and me weeping like willows that everything was going to be over. mike tests were done, costumes were changed into, and we performed for the afternoon crowd (ivan's line for the afternoon : if you were a chicken i'd have you made into a shuttlecock!) before psyching ourselves up for the last performance. if any of you were in the audience and were wondering what was going on behind the Jubilee Hall monkeyladen curtain, all of us were dancing madly to mambo songs (courtesy of trust sound guy eugene) behind the baboons. none of that quiet contemplation and getting into character nonsense. it was finger pointing and mimed embraces all the way!
sunday night was undoubtedly our best show and our best audience. even before the show started, you could hear supportive friends making a lot of whoohoo noises from the audience, and i distinctly heard lynn yell "go manny!" before i hopped over the monitor to stand beside the painted monkeys to sing reunion. nobody forgot their lines, energy was so high, the chorus even had subplots
for their mingling behind stage, mc had a sudden and unexpected heart attack onstage when mr black announced his hostile takeover of medical school, the principals all sang their solos beautifully (ivan was absolutely perfect as usual. i don't know where his amazing vocal control and the sardonic tone he manages to inject into all his songs comes from, but it is a wonder to behold every time he performs. ian's voice gets more and more powerful and swoonworthy with each passing show, and shahrier sang all his songs with perfect pitch and rhythmn! charles and elaine sang their solos with so much emotion i almost cried behind the curtain, and cheok, shangyee and lynette were brilliant, as always.) ivan's line for the evening : if you were a pig i'd have you made into a char siew bao!
it really rocked that the eurotrippers and dehan were there for the closing show, all of them all dressed up and looking gorgeous. i could hear isaac proboscis monkey seow yelling completely out of point things throughout the show like "kiss him again manny!", and i could hear the chuckles of zhongyang and the giggles of lynn far and wide throughout the theatre, just like when we were watching Madagascar. i was completely relaxed and in such a party mood throughout the entire show. the best part was during curtain call and when me and ian popped out from backstage, suddenly i saw a tall skyscraper which turned out to be dehan leap onstage to give me a big bunch of flowers from everyone! and two seconds after that, wannywayne bounced onstage to give me another big bunch of flowers from everyone! that was probably the best part of the entire day. i love all you guys so much. thanks for being so sweet and thoughtful, and thanks to the guys for having such boundy legs. after the show we all photowhored as usual.
my brother came for the show after much protesting that he would rather stay at home and watch the vcd when it came out, and i'm so glad that he really enjoyed himself. i could see my parents suppressing smiles whenever i looked in their direction and made weird faces. thanks for the beautiful flowers, mom and pa. and thanks to the whole hakka clan and half the hokkien clan for watching.
and up next, the immensely long thank you post to everybody involved in this amazing production.
| mando | 7:31 AM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
me, ian and howen the music man to whom we owe an eternal debt for Forgotten Love, ruxin mary me denise and serena taking glamour shots in the girls' dressing room, me and ivan the amazing encik hitam (and irrelevant half eaten banana), me and darling lynn our resident big sister, outside Jubilee Hall, me and jean having pillow talk, shangyeeyee jean and me at menotti's eating breakfast, me and flowers from nice people, end of getting to the bottom of things (taken by yiehui from backstage)
| mando | 9:35 AM
judo girls on saturday matinee, the fashion disasters and charles, shahrier and me at Tamaris makeup school, nat jean and denise, me and mala the amazing goddess of costuming, ian and ivan locked in loving embrace, zhongyang wanny liana lynn isaac and pertybert on closing night, me and chenseong the man, and cheok with me feeling the chingchong love!
| mando | 9:24 AM