Monday, February 26, 2007
i have not been posting for awhile because my fingers were crippled writing copious amounts of notes to prepare for pharmaco exams, and i have not yet learned how to type with the point of my nose.

but anyway this exam season, i realised that while studying in school, one learns a great deal of things. many of these things have absolutely nothing to do with what medicine cures a horrible festering ulcer spouting forth fountains of blood within your tummy. for example, i learned that a con man has been sighted in the science faculty, running away with the handphones of innocent students! zhongyang came by and dropped two flyers on the table. they said "con man rans away with students handphones! a con man has recently been sighted in the science faculty running away with students handphones. all students, please be warned not to hand over money or phones to strangers." somehow this gives me a very amusing mental picture of mr con man saying to a little nerdy student "hey, is that your handphone? may i have a look? it sure is pretty - oh my god! what is that? it's a three headed monkey!" and then breaking into a dramatic sprint and fleeing the scene with a new nokia to the polyphonic tune from Chariots of Fire. the flyer also gave us useful information on how to identify the con man. "he has a tan complexion, is of medium build, and has short hair." with such distinctive features, however did he think that he could get away with such a crime? i am absolutely certain now that i will be able to pick him out in the science canteen and bring him to justice while he slurps down a plate of claypot ee mee (without prawns). also, "he has often been sighted wearing jeans, and a white or blue shirt."

ian decided to do his civic duty and add this to the warning pamphlet :
"con man apparently never changes his clothes. instead of stealing handphones, maybe should steal more clothes instead."

despite the alarming nature of the pamphlet, ian decided to throw caution to the wind and leave his paediatrics textbook lying on a chair while he went to the toilet. i said "eh, you leave your book there later the con man take and run away with it." and he said "if he take my book, he can also take my exam." wise words indeed.

i also learnt a bit of history from dan the man, who re-enacted a sad scene from history whereby japanese soldiers, to punish themselves for bringing shame to their country, activate grenades by hitting them with their heads and pressing them to their bosoms. this is done while letting rip a ferocious cry of "suzuki daimaru takashimaya!" which means "ouch, my head now hurts!". i am currently feeling very enlightened and pleased with the great deal of knowledge i have attained.

but now that exams are over, we enjoyed our luxurious 2 days of freedom before the next postings started. i don't know about you guys, but i toured the entire continent of europe in those 2 days and took a side shopping trip to hongkong on my flight back. i must admit that i wasted some time getting lost in Nice, but one can never attain 100% efficiency.

we just started our family medicine posting, and me and caro are attached to a very nice GP. she's been running her practice for more years than we've been alive, and has seen generations of patients grow up from babies who crap their pants to parents who clean up the crap of their own kids. so far, she has taught us what to do when faced with someone with a cough and cold (besides our usual procedure of running as far away from them as humanly possible), and how to lose weight by enjoying a variety of foods the pyramid way. we shamelessly kapoked a little booklet from her that tells us exactly how many calories goes into ang koo kuih, peanut (1pc) and roti prata with cheese (1pc). we'll still eat the ang koo kueh and the prata, but at least we'll know how much fatter we'll be getting.

our gp also exhibits great skill at painlessly jabbing the buttocks of cute babies! when immunization time rolls around you'd expect most babies to scream like little banshees the minute the needle gets uncapped, but no. the process goes something like "oo you're so pretty ahh what a nice hairband you have, mummy buy you such a nice hairband ah oyo you have such a pretty little nose ok done mrs tan she's such a good girl you can bring jane back for another injection in 2 months' time." the baby just looks around and smiles and still thinks the world is all bunnies and cotton candy. skiiill.

we also have family medicine lectures where we watch such useful clips illustrating what should be done in the event of an emergency such as this one :



and also a very important preventive health message :




| mando | 8:07 AM

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