Sunday, December 30, 2007
i have not blogged for more than 2 months, but i have a good excuse because two months ago, i was abducted by little aliens (they were little, but there were lots of them which is why they were able to abduct me) who sucked me up into a giant aluminium spacecraft and methodically deleted the english language from my brain and replaced it with krcyzzkxish, the complicated alien dialect which they speak on the planet of krcyzzkxgon. i was thankfully able to escape by singing loudly in grammatically incorrect hokkien a song called "have you eaten already and aunty pain or not", which krcyzzkxians abhor worse than any other thing in the universe, and i was released. i spent the next few weeks reassembling my knowledge of verbs and nouns and now i am back to normal. i still have zkryycwx a few relapses but i think that i should be able to communicate more or less normally with earthlings in wkkzz no time.
in the past 2 months, i have been running around with singapore's trusty vagina squad, watching them heroically save/remove the uteruses and fetuses and fallopian tubes of women countrywide! i remember when i did my jc elective with the awesome gynae of gleneagles, becoming a gynaecologist was all i wanted to do. but after discovering that i am incapable of even sewing up a cut in a sponge vajayjay without injuring all other neighbouring organs as well as myself and the observing doctor in the process, i think that surgery is so not for me.
in the 2 months of o&g posting, we were constantly bombarded with OSCE question like "this woman is 32, bleeding torrentially from where the sun don't shine, and rolling around cussing out every doctor in the hospital because she is in 10/10 absolute excruciating motherloads of pain. and she is also 34 weeks pregnant with a bouncing baby boy! what do you want to do? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO??" the somewhat true yet terribly inappropriate answer would be that we want to go down to polar cafe and buy a chicken pie which may or may not be on offer and then go to the student lounge and play burger rush. but we always gave the correct answer which was to insert 2 large bore iv cannulas and take blood for fbc gxm pt/ptt fibrinogen uecr and set up fluid resuscitation and send for 4 pints of blood for transfusion then proceed to brief history taking and physical examination and ctg ultrasound monitoring of mothers vitals then scoop the bawling baby out of the womb in a dramatic lifesaving procedure and pop him into a cozy warm little baby incubator but first remembering to ring up your trusty neonatologist on call and then reassure the mother that she is fine and the baby is fine and that she will indeed be paying for toys and tuition fees for a great many happy years to come.
our tutors were all amazing, lovely people who were eager to teach despite having to scurry around the hospital popping babies from wombs like kopitiam uncles pop peanuts from shells, and extraordinarily good at what they do. through them, i learned about the miracle of life, the importance of effective family planning, the woes of women, and most importantly, to not make inappropriate noises in the OT.
christmas has just come and gone, and once again my amazing mother has deliciously cooked what appears to be every edible beast known to man to stuff her ravenous family with this holiday season. through the combined efforts of my mom and various aunties and cousins, we have been completely spoiled with (numerous) roast legs of lamb, steaks, chestnut ducks, turkey, suckling pig, chicken, cheese fondue, potatoes, salad, marbled chocolate cheesecake, and a lot of wine and champagne. ahh, inducing sugar/ketotic comas is our family's favourite activity at the holidays! we are all now waddling through the house, figuring out new and creative ways to fit ourselves through doorways. i hope everyone had a merry christmas too! burp.
recently, i turned 22 and me and ian turned 2! to celebrate our love, ian took me to morton's where we pounced on an unsuspecting lobster and giant juicy steak! more pictures and updates from that once i get the photos from him, but i had a supremely awesome time. happy 2nd, my grumpy owl!
and now i will go and tackle acute and chronic inflammation until my brain gives out 2 minutes later and i have to indulge in some more television without pity
, one of my all time favourite sites for tv recaps and snark! go forth, read, and be amused.
| mando | 5:43 PM